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Freebirdz123 t1_iujzxgg wrote

Shots fired! Aliens = Airborne Trash

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alien_from_Europa t1_iuk185z wrote

I take offense to that!

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Fox_Kurama t1_iuk9vyr wrote

Clearly we should show them what happens to those who refer to us as trash. You fuel up the deuterium cores, I'll run diagnostics on the plasma cannons. And bob... eh, he'll probably load that cow-abduction-gravity-cannon thing he kept tinkering with. I still can't believe command let HIM control a nano-fab.

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AudibleNod OP t1_iujrpi8 wrote

Military officials told the New York Times that most resolved UFO cases can be attributed to foreign spies or airborne trash.

...

Gough told the outlet that the department needs to uphold “its obligation to protect sensitive information, sources and methods.

...

“In many cases, observed phenomena are classified as ‘unidentified’ simply because sensors were not able to collect enough information to make a positive attribution,” Gough told the Times about cameras, radar and other devices that collect information.

+++++

All of that tracks. I just saw an empty chip bag float out my 8th story work window.

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jesset77 t1_iujy29r wrote

>“In many cases, observed phenomena are classified as ‘unidentified’ simply because sensors were not able to collect enough information to make a positive attribution,” Gough told the Times about cameras, radar and other devices that collect information.

Julia Nolke has already stressed this point before.

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angiosperms- t1_iujs6uc wrote

If aliens are coming to earth to watch us I'm pretty sure it's just to watch this trainwreck, they want nothing to do with the clusterfuck that is earth right now lmao

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[deleted] t1_iujvnw6 wrote

[deleted]

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Danglebort t1_iuk6xm2 wrote

Why would they waste resources on dealing with us, when everything you could ever want to mine is more easily accessible elsewhere in the solar system?

Interstellar travel requires insane resources. Making a trip like that would mean that whoever is travelling, isn't short on neither resources nor power generation capability.
It's unlikely that a species willing to commit such effort would have anything but a scientific interest in us.
I mean, they would probably be as varied and curious as us.

Unless they're dogmatic fanatics, want to hunt us for sport, or need more slaves for their pleasure/death cult. Then we're screwed.

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Anomaly1134 t1_iuk0qpl wrote

I think best case would be they decide to treat our plant like a nature reserve and help us stabilize our climate. A man can dream lol.

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[deleted] t1_iuk1hzu wrote

[deleted]

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Anomaly1134 t1_iuk3e7f wrote

I would actually be ok with it if they reduced our population. Seriously, even if it was like a 90% reduction. But with some disruptive technology we could likely support many more people also. There would be enough resources if we just handled things more sustainably.

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Grovers_HxC t1_iujy98h wrote

Naw man they’re totally gonna take pity on our little souls and disable all our ICBMs mid-flight when we decide to initiate doomsday

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CaptainNoBoat t1_iuk2ct5 wrote

I know the UFOs = aliens theories are fun to speculate about, but I find it kind of funny just how human-centric they have to be to exist.

Besides the unfathomable size and scale of space and time in the inhospitable voids of outer space, along with other reasons it's unlikely extra-solar intelligent life has visited Earth... they all require this perhaps even-more ridiculous notion:

We're actually worth visiting.

If I existed in some intelligent race capable of traveling near light-speed, making spacecraft impervious to impacts with fictional materials, traveling for centuries on end across the galaxy, and my intergalactic government council proposed using a monumental amount of resources to visit our dumb-asses just to buzz around and confuse military pilots, I'd be like "Hell no. Can we not do that?"

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kthulhu666 t1_iuk10nu wrote

Swamp gas reflecting the light from Venus off of a weather balloon.

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Fizzicyst t1_iujuegr wrote

Oh, that makes sense. Those videos of lights in the sky changing direction and rapidly accelerating without a sound were just airborne junk. Good to know. /s

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[deleted] t1_iujwi8w wrote

[deleted]

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Sneaky_Bones t1_iuk4wby wrote

If some of the larger UFO cases are believed, those would be soundless drones that travel 1000s of mph. Also, to play devil's advocate, what informs you that being unseen is a goal? I don't have an opinion on what these things are, have never seen one myself, but some events have hundreds of witnesses and I don't think drones or debris captures what they describe.

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3210atown t1_iuk46b4 wrote

The only way I could figure would be aliens would have no trouble remaining hidden if they wanted to and the sightings are used to condition people to not be as freaked out as if they just showed up one day.

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dern_the_hermit t1_iuk4z0h wrote

Additionally, most people don't know that weather services around the world release nearly a thousand balloons at once, twice a day, every day. That's a lot of potential airborne trash right there.

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My_Penbroke t1_iukawjn wrote

Pentagon trying to obfuscate while congress has already let the cat out of the bag is honestly embarrassing

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Newt_Troll t1_iujuz5o wrote

Ah yes. The mach 6 potato chip bag. Classic mistake.

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baconography t1_iujrtj9 wrote

I'm not saying it's aliens.

But it's aliens.

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saltyhasp t1_iujzvke wrote

They did say spies. So could be any alien you want.

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santaclaws_ t1_iukaik0 wrote

I doubt the navy has any more idea of what these things are than anyone else.

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The_Patriot t1_iujxjgm wrote

We are the Deathworlders.

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ThatIowanGuy t1_iujzmcn wrote

We all already know it’s a giant airborn jellyfish like creature.

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[deleted] t1_iujt517 wrote

Because they won't admit they don't know.

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cantproveidid t1_iujxox6 wrote

The very name they came up with for the phenomena indicates that they don't know.

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[deleted] t1_iujyd5d wrote

Congress wanted access to all the investigations. What they got was a magic show.

0