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FindingMoi t1_jcar409 wrote

Reply to comment by BrownEggs93 in Conn. woman 1st non-Vermonter granted assisted suicide right by getBusyChild

I’ve been there for several family members passing in hospice situations and none of it was the peaceful “end of suffering” quiet death you see in the movies. In one case, I watched a family member pass mid scream (he had cancer and died over a holiday weekend so there weren’t any nurses available to come give him iv meds to make him comfortable— but that’s a rant for another time). I think a lot of people who are against it don’t realize how brutal those deaths can be and think that they’ll get more time AND that calm peaceful departure and that’s just often not the case.

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BrownEggs93 t1_jcas2wr wrote

That must have been tough. We had two peaceful passings, frankly. Asleep and never woke up. But years of expensive medical stuff delaying the inevitable. Someone's lifestyle slipped away and they became bitter and angry at the changes and the family more or less supported it because they were expected to. It was terrible and sad. Caregiver burnout is real.

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FindingMoi t1_jcauxbm wrote

I’m glad your family had peaceful deaths. I think everyone deserves that.

The expensive part is important to mention too… medical expenses can wipe out money that was intended to take care of family. Not that the money is the most important thing but when the difference is between family being left with enough to cover final expenses vs being in crazy debt (which can happen in states like mine, PA, where children are on the hook for those expenses), we should let the person decide what they want.

My only concession to those against it is that I agree there should be plenty of safeguards, particularly when there is money involved. But there’s no reason why safeguards can’t be put in place and people can’t get the dignity they deserve.

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