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V1198 t1_j8dayzu wrote

Nostalgia for when school board meetings weren’t heated, the good old days before national politics started to poison everything

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nixstyx t1_j8dc7pk wrote

Like all local politics, there are likely just a handful of people driving this on either side of the issue. Most people just want kids to get an education and are tired of toilet talk.

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V1198 t1_j8de3i5 wrote

I agree, sadly what we are seeing is that a few people can knock things way off course

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TarantinoFan23 t1_j8gloi3 wrote

Sub committees is the solution here. Designate a day for bathroom talk and another for all other PTA stuff.

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dangerzonebjj t1_j8etlkq wrote

You realize we fought a civil war over national politics right

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optimistic8theist t1_j8e8lp2 wrote

I've been following this drama, and at risk of my sounding like a conspiracy theorist, I'm wondering if anyone else has noticed this: A resident of Milford ran for the school board last year, and didn't get elected. Last fall, a parent complained of their cis child being bullied by a trans kid in the bathroom - and if I am reading that article correctly, it looks like it was the spouse of the dejected school board candidate who submitted the concern to board member Wheeler - who then initiated looking into changing the district's gender affirming approach to bathroom usage.

On the day of the walkout by Milford students who were protesting the covering up of urinals, I noticed that the same dejected school board candidate made a comment on facebook about how teachers at the K-1 elementary school ask kids to not tell their parents about conversations they've had together - which sparked another big round of unrest.

The middle school principal has resigned (I'm assuming he received an influx of emails about the urinals, some kind and some quite awful), and the K-1 principal sent out an email to all parents of currently enrolled students that he is seeking more information regarding the allegation by the former school board candidate. The town is all over the news - in a bad way - and we have everyone upset (at the board, at the administrations, and LGBTQIA people, at each other).

I can't help but wonder if this school board candidate, who wasn't elected, was trying to create chaos, from which he could perhaps have a more successful run at getting on the board on the next go; the two complaints that keep getting everyone riled up and reacting appear to have been from the same couple/parents.

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Lurk_Real_Close t1_j8ec4eq wrote

You are reading that correctly.

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Lurk_Real_Close t1_j8echne wrote

This resident is not running for school board again, however.

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optimistic8theist t1_j8ejtum wrote

That's a bit of a relief, and if that is true, it allows me to more seriously consider his and his wife's allegations.

How do you know they won't run for the school board again?

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Lurk_Real_Close t1_j8ekago wrote

Oh, he might run again, but he’s not on the ballot this March. The filing period is closed, so we know who is running.

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decayo t1_j8fnmmf wrote

"it allows me to more seriously consider his and his wife's allegations." Give me a break. I get what you are doing, establishing an air of "fairness" or some other kind of attempt at virtuous neutrality, but we've seen the bullshit that is being thrown around to try to cause issues like this nationally. It never contains a thread of legitimacy. Giving the benefit of the doubt to people like this is not virtuous and it's not even open-mindedness; it's a purposeful dismissal of basic facts in an attempt to present neutrality to those who aren't paying attention to the world around them. You really think it's possible that a trans kid is running around bullying cis kids in restrooms? And the only one that has complained about it happens to be the child of a well-known fear-monger on the issue? Isn't it more likely that these nutcases are, like always, willing to lie to try to make their ridiculous points?

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optimistic8theist t1_j8gayu0 wrote

Hey there! No, I really don’t believe that a trans kid is running around bullying cis kids. My kid is at the middle school, and has a couple of trans friends. They are all bullied. If I had to guess, I’m inclined to think the trans kid crossed paths with one of their bullies, and some words were exchanged, and the trans kiddo had enough and stood up for themselves.

But I’m trying to approach it as objectively as possible, which is hard to do in general, and even harder once we notice the trend of this family firing off these allegations with minimal details, and only in the school year following a failed political run.

I’d love to see the data comparing the percentage of trans kids bullying cis kids, and cis kids bullying cis kids in bathrooms at the district. Pretty sure cis kids harm cis kids way more than trans kids are harming cis kids.

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Glad_Nefariousness_6 t1_j8oojq7 wrote

Why can’t a trans girl use a closed stall with the rest of the little girls. It’s creepy as hell to demand a urinals in a little girls bathroom and particularly when females are saying it makes them uncomfortable.

This is seriously nuts.

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decayo t1_j8pg8gd wrote

Who the hell is demanding urinals in the girls bathroom? The demand is to put full length stalls in, which is the correct demand. I have to admit that I don't know all the ins and outs of this issue, but you are the first person I've seen suggest that anyone is trying to put urinals in the girls bathroom.

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Maldonian t1_j8fqxfr wrote

Let’s at least try to be consistent. It’s either believe victims, or don’t believe any accusations until there is evidence…but it can’t be both.

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decayo t1_j8fruj1 wrote

Considering nothing happened, there is no victim not being believed.

Meanwhile, no one just blanket says "believe victims" with no context related to what they were supposedly victimized by. "Believe victims" is in the context of sexual assault; is the claim that the person was sexually assaulted?

I'm also not a person that has ever claimed that anyone claiming to be a victim should be automatically believed, especially if that person has a compelling reason to lie. In this case, the person has a reason to back their brain-dead degenerate parents' play.

The sensible middle-ground to your construct is "Seriously investigate claims, but in the absence of evidence, consider the source". I'm not going to abandon all reason because of some weird set of rules invented on Twitter.

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dangerzonebjj t1_j8etqrp wrote

Wheeler is a total nutcase with a history of shit like this.

He was on the executive council awhile too.

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optimistic8theist t1_j8f4t42 wrote

It really just seems like an effort to sow chaos, and it isn't lost on me that the parent emailed Wheeler only, rather than the whole Board. (That's my understanding of the situation, from the limited details we have in the news reports that I've come across.)

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Lurk_Real_Close t1_j8goekh wrote

This is the son. Dad is David and is still on the Executive Council. Son is Nate, on the school board.

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Lurk_Real_Close t1_j8gpn38 wrote

Both homeschool their kids. So that means there is a person on the school board that was homeschooled and is currently homeschooling his children.

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dangerzonebjj t1_j8jre6n wrote

Thanks. I didn't realize. I know him and Deb pignatell had gone back and forth. Sad there's another Wheeler in politics. I'm 100% sure nate never got any email from from anyone and is making it up.

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Prestigious-Club-939 t1_j8dcnn7 wrote

Amazing. Finally not standing shoulder to shoulder urinating or waiting to pee until their is either a stall open or enough space between me and the other person using the urinal.

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NewEnglandBlueberry OP t1_j8dd543 wrote

Lol, silver lining for the pee shy I suppose.

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Prestigious-Club-939 t1_j8ddj67 wrote

That’s me 😂

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Imaginary_wizard t1_j8dy3dp wrote

What about urinals with the small deviding wall?

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Maldonian t1_j8fr1vm wrote

Good point. I’ve always thought it was bizarre to go to the bathroom with other people, regardless of gender.

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JoeInNh t1_j8ecrdg wrote

this is stupid. Why is there never a line for men's rooms in busy places? Urinals. They are effective for obvious reasons..

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averageduder t1_j8fmfo2 wrote

A mostly unrelated story. I teach at a high school in nh. Either the fall before the pandemic or the year before that I heard a bunch of noise coming from the boys bathroom, and couldn’t figure out why anyone else was dealing with it.

So I walk in there wondering what the hell, and there’s a bunch of freshman and sophomore boys in there. Like 10-15. I’m pretty easy going and mostly just want things to not cause a scene.

I see a couple kids sitting in the sinks eating their lunch. And I let them know that whatever they think the sink can hold is probably less than they realize and it’s about to break. Then I realize there are 3-4 boys crowded down by the urinals - eating maybe a foot or so from them.

Then 3-4 kids come out of the stall (just one). Their reaction is it’s not what it looks like. I’m not sure what they think I was thinking - I’m sure they were vaping or something, but these boys were eating their lunches right by the toilet. Take a two urinal one stall two sink bathroom, and imagine 15 kids eating in there. And these were kids that were probably more on the giving rather than receiving end on the bullying.

Kids are weird as fuck

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dreams_n_color t1_j8dguok wrote

It’s about time, I never understood why the boys weren’t given the dignity of having privacy.

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GreatGrandaddyPurp t1_j8dq4n9 wrote

Because urinals are way better

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dreams_n_color t1_j8dshmi wrote

I guess as a female I wouldn’t know that. I just always thought guys rather have their privacy as well. Guess it’s not that big of a deal.

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underratedride t1_j8du28b wrote

You have your privacy. If you want added privacy, place a board between urinals like in most restrooms.

They also use very little water compared to a typical toilet. Some of the new urinals don’t use any water to flush.

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GreatGrandaddyPurp t1_j8dzqw3 wrote

There's rules to the urinal. You always leave an empty one between you and the next guy and of course you never look at each other. It's pretty private.

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liptoniceteabagger t1_j8e7l6i wrote

Don’t look at each other?? If you don’t stare at the guy next to you then you’re doing it wrong.

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GreatGrandaddyPurp t1_j8e9vt8 wrote

Ok sometimes if I go with my friend we hold hands but you gotta know each other or it's weird

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SkiingAway t1_j8ej41k wrote

It keeps the toilets from getting (as) trashed from people with poor aim or who don't give a fuck.

So whether you personally want to (or have the equipment to) use one or not, you should probably want to have them in any restroom that's also being used by men.

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vexingsilence t1_j8ex2vl wrote

Not sure the last time I saw a row of urinals that didn't have dividers between them. What are you doing, dropping your pants instead of using the fly?

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dreams_n_color t1_j8ff3bv wrote

Why yes, yes I do! 😂 I’m a woman

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vexingsilence t1_j8fgadq wrote

A person of the other restroom.

Yea, we don't tend to do that at the urinals.. so there's not really a privacy issue. Not sure why anyone here is thinking that's an actual thing.

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Truthislife13 t1_j8dbtoj wrote

That’s urinal discrimination! 😋

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truelikeicelikefire t1_j8et78b wrote

The trough in the men's room under the bleachers at Fenway Park was not for the faint of heart

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CaMiTx t1_j8euwis wrote

You can always tell a Milford Man

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decayo t1_j8fnzqv wrote

How about you have stall dividers that actually go to the ground while you're at it? Public bathrooms are designed in a way that privacy would even be a concern in order to save money. The idea that people are looking at my pants around my ankles and can look through a crack to watch me shitting is crazy. If those weren't the stakes, then it doesn't matter who is in what bathroom.

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Imaginary_wizard t1_j8dbuua wrote

Rip urinals

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Ethanol_Based_Life t1_j8dvqty wrote

Can we get a bathroom of just urinals? Don't care about what you call yourself, as long as you can stand, pee, and quickly move the line.

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NewEnglandBlueberry OP t1_j8e6h0d wrote

This is the way. Forget men & women bathrooms, let's get stand & sit bathrooms lol.

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valleyman02 t1_j8eh0b8 wrote

Urinals reek.

I'll be happy if I never see another urinal in my lifetime.

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Imaginary_wizard t1_j8eh6da wrote

I want a urinal in my house.

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valleyman02 t1_j8eiv0r wrote

Lol I admit they're much more convenient. But they do stink.

How often have we walked into a bathroom with a urinal and there is puddles of pee on the floor because somebody's being malicious. You almost never see a puddle of pee in front of a toilet.

Tongue-in-cheekly I say urinals cause malicious behavior!

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pornplz22526 t1_j8eovlq wrote

You've never run into malicious mess in a toilet stall? Seems like ever third one I've been to is covered in piss and shit so nobody can use it.

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vexingsilence t1_j8exme5 wrote

Bonus points for it needing a plunger even though there's never a plunger in the room. Then the impatient continue to use it anyway.

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valleyman02 t1_j8eqw61 wrote

Oh no you definitely do. Just not puddles on the floor. Unfortunately you're right about shit on the toilet.

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underratedride t1_j8dtvex wrote

Jfc, teachers should NOT be discussing a students sex or sexuality EVER. End of discussion.

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Baranjula t1_j8fwwof wrote

I mean they do teach sex Ed.....so sometimes they kinda have to

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underratedride t1_j8fxyv5 wrote

I never had a sex ed teacher discuss the sex or sexuality of one of the students.

That’s pretty messed up if yours did.

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Glad_Nefariousness_6 t1_j8oot9v wrote

This is the only normal opinion. People have truly lost it when they are trying to force urinals in a middle school girls bathroom.

The trans girls can pee in a toilet like every other girl.

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dumpsterfiretossout t1_j8hxw8b wrote

Exactly. JFC indeed! Let the kids pee where they feel most comfortable and stop pointing at their genitals! The teachers and parents need to stop seeing these kids as penises and vaginas and just treat everyone as sexless drones. They are there to learn, not be demonized. All these kids can pee in any bathroom or change in any locker room because sex and sexuality of children is not appropriate to consider ever. It shouldn't be acknowledged or debated in a school, or in any public space for that matter. They are called private parts for a reason. Stop invading trans kids genitals. Let the kids pee where they want and leave their genitals out of your minds! Anyone who is paying attention to children's genitals, male, female, trans, or nonbinary should be ashamed of themselves. This obsession with figuring out what's in kids pants is disgusting. Thank you for saying this!

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Glad_Nefariousness_6 t1_j8oov7w wrote

No. Little girls do not need to validate anyone’s dick. Wtf is wrong with you.

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dumpsterfiretossout t1_j8or286 wrote

I'm very confused as to your comment. Where in any of this did you read that people want little girls to validate penises???

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underratedride t1_j8i3qjb wrote

Your username is so fitting.

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dumpsterfiretossout t1_j8i4qa8 wrote

I guess I'd ask you, why do you care if a kid born with a penis pees in the same room as a kid with a vagina? If sex and sexuality are not part of the discussion, what is your reasoning for it being inappropriate?

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Glad_Nefariousness_6 t1_j8op0lw wrote

That’s not what’s happening. The team girls can use the stalls.

Anyone who wants urinals in a little girls bathroom is a predator. Dysmorphia ? Nope. We’ve escalated to your child Must validate my female cock.

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Strict_Zebra_3585 t1_j8f5w1m wrote

I'm not at all being a poop stirrer. This is a serious question. If boys that identified as girls could use the girls' room, none of this would be happening? Or girls who identified as boys could use the boys' restroom? I honestly haven't paid enough attention to what has caused this issue. I'm just trying to understand what led to this. Not sarcastic or trying to offend.

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Lurk_Real_Close t1_j8gp7g7 wrote

This is the current policy. A student who has regularly presented as a particular gender at school is allowed to use the restrooms and locker rooms designated for that gender. The issue arose when the parents of a cisgender girl discovered that transgender girls were using the same bathrooms as their daughters. They claim their daughters were harassed, and they want to prohibit transgender girls from using these spaces. However, gender identity is a protected class under NH law, so this would be discriminatory.

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Glad_Nefariousness_6 t1_j8opc4e wrote

The legal basis for eliminating sex segregated bathrooms is not established and as more headlines claims that girls with penises are oppressed because they can’t whip their cocks out while the people with ovaries manage ok in a stall - the left is going to lose a shit ton of support.

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NewEnglandBlueberry OP t1_j8f6dfy wrote

From what I understand, it was initially kicked off because one of the parents found out that there was a transgirl who was using the girls room. I don't know how many other trans kids go to this school. I do know that there is at least one transboy going there as well though.

To be perfectly clear, there have been no accusations or claims of impropriety (other than using the "wrong" restroom) from anyone which started this.

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Lurk_Real_Close t1_j8gpd9q wrote

I know there are transgender boys and girls at the high school, as well as students who identify as non binary. I don’t know how many. My best guess is more than 5 and fewer than 25.

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bsmith696969 t1_j8fsp4e wrote

Anyone remember the trough urinal at the old Foxboro Stadium? My God that was traumatic as an early teenager.

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smdifansmfjsmsnd t1_j8jcivg wrote

My first elementary school had that damn thing. I’ve always had a nervous bladder and prayed everyday that nobody was in the one stall also in the bathroom.

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Arthur-Morgans-Beard t1_j8sd0ht wrote

I missed that one, but they had one at the oxford race track when I was an early teen. I pushed through but it was admittedly weird being that close to 15 full grown man dicks.

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fins4ever t1_j8e3ch9 wrote

This is sexist discrimination against boys

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[deleted] t1_j8e5qgh wrote

[deleted]

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Kekwexpress t1_j8fq6r9 wrote

Trans kids? Kids have zero concept of sexuality. Wtf is wrong with you

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dumpsterfiretossout t1_j8jg2bb wrote

Why are you bringing sexuality in the discussion? Being trans has nothing to do with sexuality. Neither does going to the bathroom. No one is asking these kids if they're straight, bi, or gay. Do you have sexuality confused with sex organs or gender identity?

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Kekwexpress t1_j8kz8qa wrote

Trans people experience a gender identity that is inconsistent with their sex organs. Kids have no concept of this is my point.

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[deleted] t1_j8lawac wrote

[deleted]

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Kekwexpress t1_j8lfznm wrote

Give me a break. Children don’t have a concept of gender. You’re suggesting that gender has no reference to biology, a dichotomy between sex and gender in an attempt to deflect that you are sexualizing children.

If a little boy comes up to you and says he thinks he’s a girl; he has no clue wtf that even means, yet people even seem to think giving them puberty blockers would be a good idea. An adult is different.

I have no issue with trans. You need to cope with the fact that this thought process involving children is sickening and I hope you’ll stop advocating the grooming of young children.

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f2000sa t1_j8dipfo wrote

Instead of doing this, the whole civilization needs to desensitize sex. There would be no issue if there were no private parts.

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Malky t1_j8dmlx1 wrote

That may be ambitious, given the scope of the powers given to the Milford School Board.

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