Submitted by Violet_weeb t3_zzmedh in funny
Comments
speculatrix t1_j2ckvpw wrote
The baby was born out of love
AirbagOff t1_j2cybop wrote
No fault she was pregnant.
e-buddy t1_j2d672z wrote
First penis then tenis.
Sooka_Blyat_1991 t1_j2ea5jc wrote
Underrated comment
[deleted] t1_j2dbdu2 wrote
[removed]
bleunt t1_j2ddbdv wrote
I don't believe you when you say you don't care.
[deleted] t1_j2ddlgw wrote
[removed]
bleunt t1_j2dg0fm wrote
No one is parading abortions. No one is parading wart removal. Just admit that you think abortion is murder.
But most of all, vent somewhere else than fucking /r/funny.
Arrow_93 t1_j2ddkkn wrote
I find it stupid that you decided to politicise a thread with jokes.
Got bored of your righteousness pretty damn quick. Take your crap somewhere else
[deleted] t1_j2ddv9o wrote
[removed]
HelloWorld1352 t1_j2dk0x9 wrote
The joke is that it’s obviously the only woman, no one is talking about trans women here. Also, please be careful when you bring politics into Reddit. Things can get ugly very quickly.
[deleted] t1_j2dl4lx wrote
[removed]
HelloWorld1352 t1_j2dldxd wrote
I’m not into politics enough to understand what’s going on but people here are really sensitive about that kinda stuff. It’s a lot safer to avoid talking about this, I mean.
Mavsffl77 t1_j2de2dv wrote
“I don’t care what you think but I find it stupid you won’t conform to my exact way of thinking, I am now going to put the blame of unwanted pregnancy 100% on women with the exception of a statistic I made up regarding rape based pregnancies to appear less morally bankrupt”
[deleted] t1_j2dfld9 wrote
[removed]
Mavsffl77 t1_j2dg4hm wrote
Holy incel Batman.
HarryCoinslot t1_j2fqr5p wrote
Only in your warped little mind was this a political joke.
Aramis444 t1_j2fxgk2 wrote
Something tells me you’ve never had sex before. Not making fun of you. It just seems like you’re a little unaware of issues that can arise between two consenting adults even when they’ve taken all precautions. I also think that you’re creating a stereotype of a person who gets an abortion, as well as the reasons why someone would do so.
oliverthompson69 t1_j2dhfhq wrote
As if people like this exist haha
[deleted] t1_j2dhxxw wrote
[removed]
oliverthompson69 t1_j2dihu5 wrote
What are you on about
winstondabee t1_j2eg7cb wrote
So as soon as sperm fertilizes the egg it becomes a full fledged human being? That's an interesting point of view.
Hooka1234 t1_j2dwf1u wrote
Hence the “roughly”
[deleted] t1_j2cyxpq wrote
[removed]
Aldoc3 t1_j2cjvrf wrote
I was in the nike shop the other day and they had a sign up saying 50% off womans sports bras. So it's full price for all the mens sports bras, sexist pigs.
trentsim t1_j2cwspn wrote
But i can still buy the women's ones and get the discount right?
SlowMaize5164 t1_j2fwrid wrote
I was hoping that means 50% less material or just the left or right side.
CerealKiller3030 t1_j2chv5m wrote
Believe it or not, this question was for the million dollars
nyrB2 t1_j2ci904 wrote
how???
CerealKiller3030 t1_j2cj9iv wrote
Saw it on the internet, in the comment you replied to, so it has to be true
nyrB2 t1_j2ckrx4 wrote
understood
niallod66 t1_j2df1ff wrote
You have chosen 'Believe'
bignateyk t1_j2dxk5l wrote
If this was actually the million dollar question I would probably sit there hesitating trying to figure out what I was missing…
Much-Highlight-503 t1_j2dea4i wrote
Its true im the question
lofty2p t1_j2e1u2l wrote
Uh...not?
Burnsy2023 t1_j2emhf4 wrote
Yeah, I don't believe that.
CerealKiller3030 t1_j2evd9y wrote
It's gotta be true, I saw it on the internet in the comment you just replied to
jonbigbootie t1_j2coyyl wrote
Wouldn’t that technically be doubles? ;)
RyanNotSoProGaming t1_j2cgqg5 wrote
One of the men obviously! Women can't give birth!
[deleted] t1_j2ckcf5 wrote
[removed]
ScrotalInterchange t1_j2csyoa wrote
need i remind you that cis people exist
Dummy_Ren t1_j2dj3he wrote
You missed the joke buddy.
HirokiTakumi t1_j2ep27c wrote
Sarcasm is hard...
ScrotalInterchange t1_j2e1gg9 wrote
>You missed the joke buddy.
I know what the joke is: birth-giving women don't exist. I was developing the joke: actually, crazy as it sounds, some people who give birth are, in fact, women.
So what does "you missed the joke" mean? It is really weird that everyone misinterpreted me here. Like misinterpreting me seems to require beliving that I lack some basic knowledge about biology or something.
Dry_Needleworker7504 t1_j2esph8 wrote
It's always the stupidest people that are the most confident.
nickeypants t1_j2emyz1 wrote
That is not development and, believe it or not, your explanation makes it even less funny and make less sense. I award you no points.
ScrotalInterchange t1_j2epmwd wrote
Please explain what "you missed the joke" means and please explain how you are interpreting me.
HirokiTakumi t1_j2eoycq wrote
Bro, what are you talking about? We all know woman give birth, that's the satire of saying "it has to be one of the dudes!" THAT'S the joke. Which you in fact, missed. You didn't develop anything further, you just killed the sarcasm and inadvertently explained the joke, killing it as well... You good, brother?
[deleted] t1_j2ej505 wrote
[removed]
[deleted] t1_j2ctovr wrote
[removed]
[deleted] t1_j2erkv0 wrote
[deleted]
The_Gumbo t1_j2chf93 wrote
McEnroe, I knew it! The Borg done did him
Prinzka t1_j2cr1oh wrote
You cannot be serious
heresyforfunnprofit t1_j2e96bd wrote
He was quite temperamental out there at times… almost hormonal one might say…
wreakinscapa t1_j2d2ddo wrote
Resistance is useless.
MinhYungWasTaken t1_j2ddswq wrote
Resistance is *fertile.
ElectricJedi28 t1_j2dcrsc wrote
Yeah, why does he look like he’s thinking hard about it? Or is he confused as to why all the other choices are dudes?
hillrd t1_j2cuckx wrote
I’d like to use my 50/50 please.
Syndicatalyst t1_j2d4hxp wrote
Phone a friend.
Andy_McBoatface t1_j2dk9us wrote
John McEnroe. Why do you think he was so emotional and angry whenever he played
whatev6187 t1_j2epd1y wrote
If I recall the commercial correctly, his socks were too tight.
WeNeedToTalkAboutMe t1_j2eml0l wrote
WWTBAM is infamous for doing this. It's actually really clever: they write a question in a way which makes the player second-guess themself, because once you start doing that under pressure, it's difficult for most people to stop.
textc t1_j2f8jae wrote
If you don't know tennis, while the answer could seem obvious at the start, once you start that second guessing, you might begin to wonder if "Andy" is a nickname for a female player you aren't familiar with.
jinstoppy t1_j2ch4qs wrote
Jay Bauman
skyfire-x t1_j2d2kgz wrote
McEnroe's whole career was a string of emotional outbursts, he must have been pregnant the entire time.
e-buddy t1_j2d66bd wrote
Eight weeks pregnant? Does it affect you much at that point?
MidgetLovingMaxx t1_j2dd20t wrote
Morning sickness can be pretty heavy right around there.
OKImHere t1_j2e1vj1 wrote
Not really. Hormonally, the 9th week is said to be the worst, but there's no physical hindrance as far as weight, movement, or stamina, unless you count insomnia. It's not until about 20 weeks that a woman gets some setbacks to physical activity. Even then, she could still run or lift weights if she wanted to.
Legitimate_Wind1178 t1_j2dvde1 wrote
Physically not really, but as the person below said morning sickness. athletes still compete and train very pregnant, Dearica Hamby played in WNBA this season and then announced she was expecting after they won the championship. Alex Morgan, Crystal Dunn, Sydney Leroux, Kealia Watt all trained (separately from their teams bc contact sport) very pregnant.
Lynx_Detective t1_j2f2l9z wrote
Well you see, it's unacceptable to use common sense and logic these days.
It's wrong think to say that men can't get pregnant.
Honk.
cedarpangolin t1_j2fgupj wrote
“What is a Woman” for 500 please.
That_Guy_From_KY t1_j2fhcbt wrote
“Birthing person”
OneCrazyPaul t1_j2cuout wrote
C. Can't tell
BigBlueMountainStar t1_j2d8y7h wrote
Did he phone a friend after taking 50:50?
Violet_weeb OP t1_j2d9epc wrote
No he quit
[deleted] t1_j2d9z0e wrote
[removed]
eltruteht t1_j2eqs99 wrote
Who wants to be a wokennaire
haxic t1_j2eutwe wrote
Anything is possible these days
mybraincantcompute t1_j2f8eyw wrote
This is photoshopped right, otherwise it's just a freebie.
AutoModerator t1_j2cg84o wrote
>This is a friendly reminder to read our rules. > >Memes, social media, hate-speech, and pornography are not allowed. > >Screenshots of Reddit are expressly forbidden, as are TikTok videos. > >Comics may only be posted on Wednesdays and Sundays. > >Rule-breaking posts may result in bans. > >Please also be wary of spam. >
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
[deleted] t1_j2cgkhb wrote
[deleted]
Recon_Figure t1_j2ch9i1 wrote
Claudio Abbado
Lachimanus t1_j2cto2s wrote
Which money rank was that on?
hardtobeuniqueuser t1_j2d00te wrote
that has to be mcenroe
[deleted] t1_j2d7hzi wrote
[removed]
[deleted] t1_j2d9tkz wrote
[removed]
The_Fox1984 t1_j2dn6ox wrote
Why can I not get the girl on the sofa image out of my head but it’s serena Williams and male tennis players behind her
[deleted] t1_j2dt045 wrote
[removed]
DummydaddyIA122 t1_j2dvg5v wrote
John McEn-ho
LonelyOtaku78 t1_j2e6qk0 wrote
One would go crazy wondering if it's a trick question or not. Like I know the answer... I think I know the answer. It is the right answer, isn't it? What if it's not?
greenappletree t1_j2e9j6d wrote
imagine if this was the last question, for the million, I would still be very careful since it could be a trick question, what if some lady's nickname was andy, hmm.
b4mmb4mm t1_j2ezgpb wrote
Federer I bet.
Weaseltime_420 t1_j2f6vay wrote
I remember when Andy Murray was pregnant.
TheAdventOfTruth t1_j2fl3yu wrote
Why are you assuming? Don’t you know nowadays men can get pregnant?
Due_Platypus_3913 t1_j2fltg2 wrote
Pretty sure it was Federer!
Jacerom t1_j2fmvlo wrote
Call a Friend!!!
ozdude182 t1_j2eameo wrote
The way things are these days it could be any of them... apparently
d4ng3r0u5 t1_j2evex0 wrote
Did you just assume their gender? TRIGGERED
Iamnotsmart987 t1_j2dt636 wrote
In 30 years this won't be an obvious choice
ABena2t t1_j2cig7d wrote
idk. these days it could be a trick question.
Why can't a man be "pregnant". That's sexist. A man can be pregnant. Just bc they can't carry a baby doesn't mean anything. If the wife is pregnant then so is the man!
I know for a fact some men are now getting PAID maternity leave.
Memory_Null t1_j2cmt0k wrote
It's called paternity leave and has been a thing since 2003 in the UK.
It was being lobbied for almost 50 years ago though, so it's not like this is new.
ABena2t t1_j2cvnhe wrote
ya I know. paternity. I'm a dumbass.
Puzzleheaded_Cress75 t1_j2cjl10 wrote
Well that makes sense if the dad wants to be the stay at home parent some mom's just can't do it
WadeStockdale t1_j2cl76c wrote
Also after giving birth, it can be incredibly difficult to take care of a new baby alone- things like postpartum depression, c sections and even just a traumatic birthing process can prevent the birthing parent from even getting out of bed under their own power for weeks to months.
It also helps fathers bond with their children and means one parent doesn't get burnt out because they don't have support from their partner.
ABena2t t1_j2ckq08 wrote
I guess so. I had never heard of that before. I thought the point giving it to the mom was to help her recover - like physically. on top of being with the child and or breast feeding and whatnot. My brother just had a baby and both him and his wife work and both got 8 weeks off paid. and then he had an optional 4 weeks unpaid on top of that.
Hello_Gorgeous1985 t1_j2d0nbd wrote
That's an incredibly short parental leave...
ABena2t t1_j2d16ul wrote
really? my company doesn't even give a day off for the father. think the mother gets 3 months but it's unpaid.
Hello_Gorgeous1985 t1_j2d22gz wrote
American, right? The rest of the world understands.
Where I live it's 15 weeks given to the person who has given birth. Then there is Also 40 weeks of parental leave which can be shared between both parents. The government employment insurance program provides 55% of your regular pay for the duration of that time. You also have the option to extend that 40 weeks to 69 instead at a reduced rate of 33%.
Private companies can also set their own policies with regards to parental leaves and payment (above and beyond). However, they are legally required to allow parents to take the leaves mentioned above and Your job must be available when you return.
Here you go: https://www.ilo.org/global/about-the-ilo/newsroom/news/WCMS_008009/lang--en/index.htm
ABena2t t1_j2d2kov wrote
must be available? after 69 weeks? how is the possible? or how can that be expected? what if the company slows down and does lay offs? they can't lay you off bc you had a kid? and they're going to have to fill that position while you're gone. So you leave for over a year and they hire and train someone else. depending on the job, training someone can take a lot of time, effort, and money. So you put all that into a new employee - and then you come back, now you gotta lay off that person who took your job? even if the new person is better?
crazy scenario - you're on paternity leave. bring someone else in, they get pregnant and go on paternity leave, now you bring a 3rd person.. lol. you're supposed to keep all these people on and pay them all bc they had babies? I'd think this law would keep employers from hiring women quite honestly. who wants to deal with that?
Hello_Gorgeous1985 t1_j2d2xd6 wrote
Tell me you've never heard of a short-term contract without telling me you've never heard of a short-term contract.
>I'd think this law would keep employers from hiring women quite honestly. who wants to deal with that?
Uh...That would be discrimination, and we have laws for that too. It actually keeps women in the workforce because they don't have to quit their jobs to care for their infants...
More than 120 countries in the world offer parental leave. The US is the only major country that doesn't. There's a reason for that.
For the record, the person in the scenario you've described wouldn't qualify for paid parental leave because they're on a short-term contract.
ABena2t t1_j2d443r wrote
The States might not offer parental leave but we do have laws against discrimination. That doesn't mean discrimination doesn't take place. It happens all the time. I'm not saying that it's right.
and you consider 65 weeks or whatever it was "short term"
Hello_Gorgeous1985 t1_j2eraqe wrote
It's a short-term position because you know when it's ending and that you won't be staying there long term. When you apply for the position it is advertised as being a parental leave. You know how long it will be.
I'm not going to continue to debate this with you because your comments have been sexist from moment one. The rest of the world knows that proper parental leave is necessary We also know that it takes more than 12 weeks for a person to recover from giving birth and that there's absolutely nothing wrong with the non-birthing parent taking leave also. In fact, it should be encouraged.
I'm done.
[deleted] t1_j2cv2xy wrote
[removed]
[deleted] t1_j2cl0sq wrote
[deleted]
rell7thirty t1_j2ci6gj wrote
Regardless of which of those fine gentlemen or woman was 2 months pregnant, that baby was like "wtf going on out there?" during those sets and matches.