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Tecumseh119 t1_jdqp7qx wrote

Usher it back out the door, so it can fulfill its natural urge to run under your feet, when you’re walking home drunk at night..

149

md9918 t1_jdqywn0 wrote

Make it pay half the rent and utilities

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warda8825 t1_jdr128h wrote

Evict it. If it don't make 3x the rent and can't pay security deposit and first and last month's rent, it can't be your roomie.

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[deleted] t1_jdqs0fl wrote

Put it outside. It's just lost.

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dopkick t1_jdqoh9m wrote

Bust out the fondue

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MazelTough t1_jdqvzu3 wrote

It’s not a roach. You okay, fam.

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Previous-Cook t1_jdr8lm6 wrote

yes it is

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oriental_cockroach

−23

upsidedownbat t1_jdrc4h9 wrote

No, it isn't. OP's picture comes from here, which identifies it as a beetle:

https://www.marylandbiodiversity.com/view/13157

The wings and antennae are super different on roaches. And the shape. Basically you can tell it's a beetle because of the way it is ;)

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gaytee t1_jds8uva wrote

I’ve seen a pixel or two in my day

2

MazelTough t1_jdsoiqf wrote

No, this one has very different short cute antennae.

1

Burnbrook t1_jdqr4tv wrote

It's a beetle, let it outside.

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YorickTheCat t1_jdrge16 wrote

Toss it outside to live another day. Beetles always get a pass.

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saltyjohnson t1_jdre4le wrote

Throw it in a pot, add some broth, a potato... Baby, you got a stew goin!

11

JKnott1 t1_jdr7xws wrote

Burn the house down and move to another city.

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keyjan t1_jdr6a4i wrote

Scoop it up in a cup or something and toss it outside. Looks like a water beetle or something. Not a roach.

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DfcukinLite t1_jdrjkgh wrote

Move out and burn the place down

5

Wilmore99 t1_jdr254l wrote

Make a small obstacle course with paper clips, number 2 pencils, etc. and play Entry of the Gladiators. Optionally have a notepad and stopwatch handy for your findings.

4

clrlmiller t1_jdr3fny wrote

Assuming you're looking to rid your house of the little f**kers. So, google "advion cockroach gel bait" and put a thin line of the stuff in every crack and crevice of your kitchen and other places you've seen them.

I fought a two year battle to purge my house of the little shits after some dirty neighbors moved next door to my rowhouse and brought 'em in their moving boxes. This stuff finally did the trick of eliminating 'em once and for all. I took about two weeks and in eight years they haven't come back.

4

OcelotControl78 t1_jdrbedq wrote

This is not a German cockroach. If this is what you had an infestation of your house had other problems.

6

clrlmiller t1_jdrcd0u wrote

Oh! Then what the heck is it???

3

very-good-dog t1_jdrhr4s wrote

im pretty sure its a water scavenger beetle. they eat mosquito larvae when they are young, and water invertebrates when they are adults. overall they are beneficial to water ecosystems. i would put them outside because if theyre in your home, they are definetly lost. they arent common household pests

7

kongjie t1_jdrpsgm wrote

Roast it and make baba ganoush.

4

Longey13 t1_jdqr03y wrote

Gently place it in front of the wheel of a motor vehicle, roll the vehicle forward, backwards, and repeat until sufficiently squished.

3

FrankieHellis t1_jdqvfrn wrote

Torch the entire dwelling.
He is a she and she laid eggs. (Was in an Twilight Zone episode once).

2

OcelotControl78 t1_jdrb7mx wrote

This is not a German roach. This is an outdoor roach that will quickly die inside a house b/c there isn't sufficient humidity/water sources. If you so have an infestation of these inside your house, it means you have a serious water issue.

5

spirilis t1_jdrbj8c wrote

If they show up often, be sure to thoroughly clean your floors. They leave pheremones behind in their wake that informs others to come around.

2

Intelligent-Dig4852 t1_jdt88mv wrote

Oh come TF on! Pheromones… take the nightmare to the next level, why don’t you! No one is cleaning the freaking floor. We are pouring gasoline on the floor and burning the whole entire house down. Clean the floo… gif

1

OcelotControl78 t1_jdrbkcm wrote

Free cat toy. It will die soon without intervention even without a cat. They don't live long indoors.

2

brownbuttanoods7 t1_jdszhdo wrote

As my dad would say "it's just a water bug". Scoop it out or brush it out the door.

2

Obasan123 t1_jdteoo8 wrote

Torch your house.

Helpful hint: If you live in a row house, it would be courteous to notify your neighbors before torching--at least the neighbor on each side. You do not require a permit from the city.

2

[deleted] t1_jdtrln5 wrote

The amount of MFs in here who can't tell a roach from a beetle...

2

tjo5112 t1_jdu2gxk wrote

Yeah, not a bright bunch.

But whether it's a beetle or Oriental/American roach really doesn't even matter. In both cases, they usually just wander in from outside. The only roaches that really infest in most cases are German roaches, which look nothing like this.

1

boofoodoo t1_jdr8wm4 wrote

I kill them. Unfortunately for them they are too revolting to live with and must die.

1

kinguwu t1_jdr9cih wrote

eat it, of course!

1

jbroombroom t1_jds03a2 wrote

Call the towing company to come truck it away for illegal parking.

1

kayla_kitty82 t1_jdsget2 wrote

Omg!! I had one of those alien bugs in my office building at work.. I offered to torch the building but we figured my boss wouldn't understand so we left it for the cleaning crew to handle .

1

Joe_Wer t1_jdsk2au wrote

Practice my curbstomping skills

1

GeekInSheiksClothing t1_jdslq5l wrote

Beetles I can deal with. It's the palmetto bugs that always scare the crap outta me. Baltimorians call em "water bugs". More like giant cockroach look alike. At least they don't fly.

1

moderndukes t1_jdtdd7i wrote

Behind the joke answers, might want to consider how humid your home is / if there are any water leaks

1

ChrystynaS t1_jdtdxmr wrote

Get my dad.

When I lived in the city I’d have one of these in my room a few times a week. I’d always get my dad. I hate water bugs.

1