I really don't like social interactions with other people, I've always had a lot of difficulties when it came to meeting and talking with new people. It got even worse when I came out to as gay to my parents, I didn't talk to almost anyone for a long time. That's why I liked working on cars so much, I could just put on my headphones and stay in my own world. It wasn't until Ryan brought his car in one day that I even considered talking with anyone. He was really patient and really kind to me, but also persistent enough to push me to do things. It took a long time for me to adjust to even calling him my boyfriend, but I was honestly so happy when he asked me to marry him.

When I first went to family events with him I was so nervous, and parts of his family did take some time to accept us, but he always stood up for me and they all eventually came around. They all even came to the wedding while none of my family even acknowledged me when I tried to talk to them about it. I never really knew that much about what Ryan did, he didn't talk about it but he always said he was a "Union guy" which I didn't really understand but I didn't really question it either. I was just happy to be with him.

A lot of people he worked with would come to big events, and he would introduce me to them, I still don't really talk much around other people but Ryan said they all seemed to like me which is good I guess. After awhile a lot of them started showing up at my garage when they needed any work done on their cars. It did seem a little weird and I was kind of confused when they all kept insisting on overpaying me, but the extra work was nice at least.

But today one of them came in with bullet holes all over his car and he was bleeding, I was really scared and I wasn't even sure what to do. He kept yelling at me to call some doctor but then all these gunshots started going off outside and I just ran into the supply closet and locked the door, I called the only person I could think of.

"Jamie? Jamie! Hey are you okay? You're spacing out on me again babe! I'm here now! We took care of those guys! Come on talk to me!"

"Wh...what? Oh! I'm sorry I um... Ryan I don't..."

He was right, I was completely spacing out. Running over everything that brought me to this moment. I tried to talk but it was so hard to get the words out. Ryan being around always helped me, but now having just seen him and his friends show up and shoot all those guys, it just put me in a state. I'm scared. I feel like I'm drowning in fear and anxiety, and now I'm worried the only hand to ever help pull me out is about to start holding me under. I don't know if this is like the movies, but looking back it all makes sense now. I can't believe I was so blind, maybe I just didn't want to see it. I didn't want to see that the only person who ever actually cared for me being involved in something so brutal. In the end I could only work out one thing.

"Do you have to kill me now?"

I didn't want him to answer, because I was pretty sure I already knew. But it was all I could think to say in the moment. Then I looked up and he had a mortified look on his face and he quickly wrapped his arms around me tightly, he was even choking up when he spoke.

"I could never do that to you, you didn't do anything wrong. I'm so sorry Jamie, I should have told you about all of this. I love you, I promise I would never do anything like that to you. I am so sorry."

As he spoke all I could do was hug him back. I was scared and I didn't know what was going on, but even through all this, his voice was still like the light at the end of a tunnel. I want to believe him, maybe because I don't know what else I can do. But all I know is that I still want to love him.

"I don't I know if I can handle this Ryan, this is too much. I don't understand what is happening."

"You don't have handle this, never again. I swear to you. I'm leaving this behind. Let's go somewhere far away, somewhere nice. We'll get you a new garage, just you and me."

I was so happy to hear him say that, I wanted that to happen. I wanted to be with him, I wanted to run away. Part of me always felt locked away staying in the same city as my parents anyway. I was so happy when he said that, I wanted it to be true. But when I opened my eyes all I could see was the gun barrel from behind him.

As I lay on the ground fading I could hear him yelling and shooting at his friends. Part of me knew this was coming, a bigger part of me didn't want to belive it. But at least in my final moments I could see that he truly did mean what he said. He really did want to run away with me. I'm so tired and cold now. It was nice experiencing true happiness for once though, even if it was for only a short time. I still love him.

(Sorry that got pretty dark at the end there. But let me know what y'all think of the story!)