An Investigation Into The Daily Behaviours Of The Tall Ones

^(Maerwynn M. Corgi, Steven J. Rottweiler, Hanako Inu)

Department of Xenoanthropology, Laika Memorial University

^(contact: m.m.corgi@caninities.laika.edu.dog)

Abstract:

Recent advances in understanding of biped technology have enabled the use their own imaging devices, giving a clearer picture than ever before of what occurs when they leave the lair each day. This report summarizes their activities as observed over several days and proposes both a possible model of biped social hierarchy and a hypothesis for why they perform the sequences of actions they do.

1. Background

Since ancient times when the bipeds first attempted to form symbiotic relationships with canids, their comings and goings have been shrouded in mystery. Attempts to observe them in their natural habitat have been shown to induce unnatural behaviour, often causing them to display affected age-regression and baby-talk (Rin Tin Tin et al, 1939, Benji, 1974). It has long been the dream of researchers to shed light on their puzzling rituals without these interfering affectations.

Recently, the bipeds have managed to combine optical technology with shiny plastic box technology, and in doing so, construct the means of recording themselves, with a full spectrum ranging from infra-yellow to ultra-blue, motion, and even limited sound (Nipper, 1996). Though the inner workings of shiny plastic boxes remain a poorly-understood area of ongoing research, in recent years, significant strides have been made in the operation of the plastic boxes themselves, enabling researchers to finally see what bipeds do all day.

2. Early morning

Typically...