Ain’t none who knows of me no more, my name been lost too long. My job is simple, I keep the magma flowing; keep the ice from freezing all the land.

Not much to it, I’m not a volcano god just a simple magma spirit. Used to be something more though, I used to be married to a great giantess. I was her real first spouse, well before the incident that is. See my land was altered, I’m not sure if you understand what that means because those reading this are human. When land changes certain spirits are directly affected. Some die, others change, the lucky ones can go elsewhere.

Me? I was changed so much my own wife did not recognize me. She cast me out of the house claiming we were never married. My very existence was rewritten, and of course time erased what little knowledge of me existed from history.

For centuries, no eons since then I’ve simply gone through the motions. Tending my magma fields and lava tubes. Keeping the ice from freezing everything, heating the land from below so life can flourish.

So imagine my surprise when a few days ago an exhausted human appeared near the edge of my domain screaming out my long lost original name. My first name of all things. That’s the last thing I ever expected to hear. My name was that of a long gone forest on a long altered mountain from which my magma now flows, yet this human somehow knew it.

Curious I appeared before them. Trying my best to appear intimidating I asked “How dare you speak my name? What do you want from me human?”

The small mortal fell to its knees and began posturing like a beggar. Weeping it pleaded “oh please great first yet forgotten husband of Gryla, aid me. Her sons with her most recent spouse have been wreaking havoc across the lands. Please I’m begging you, make them stop.”

Hearing my ex wife’s name stirred something in me, but that was not enough to make me want to do anything about her kids with whatever husband she was on now. I mean the few children she had with me are dead, and she doesn’t remember me.

Yet still, I felt like I might have it in me to help this human if they gave me a good enough reason. So I asked it “ What could these sons be doing that could be so horrible you would seek me out? I am a forgotten spirit, twisted and lost; why ask me for help?”

The human started wailing off all the things these thirteen little brats had done, and by the time they were done I decided to help. Bowl licker, Spoon Licker, and Pan scraper are part of the reason sure.

But the real reason is Door Slammer, what he does is just wrong. And since my ex wife and her now ex husband refuse to do anything, I guess it’s only right I help put a stop to this mess.

I just hope the humans don’t mind the fact magma and fire will be involved. The one who begged for my aid and boon said they won’t mind, but it can’t be that bad right?

Turns out it was that bad, in fact it was worse. But the human begged me with my long forgotten name so I’m going to try to help stop these rampaging lads. After all it feels good to hear it after so long, and maybe if I do a good job helping them out they’ll add me to their traditions.

A forgotten folk spirit can dream, now it’s time to discipline some horrible no good very bad lads.