Club Urban Night. Although society was starting to accept non-humans after their existence was finally revealed to the public, few places went out of their way to welcome and cater to them. But while many feared the unknown, there would always be those who were enticed by that which was mysterious and exotic. If I had to pick a side, I’d be a part of the former, and yet here I was, letting my more outgoing friend drag me to a club for non-humans.

…Well, I can’t say I was completely against the idea. The fantasy of spending the night with a charming vampire or a ferocious yet passionate werewolf made me gulp just as hard as any healthy young woman. But I still had my doubts.

“Omagawd, Sadie. I think I went to middle school with that merman. Hold my drink, I’m going to pop over to say hi.”

It’s been ten minutes since my friend—the only person I knew here—said that and she’s still laughing it up with some strangers by the pool. I’ve been sitting on a barstool waffling over whether I should awkwardly force my way into their conversation or awkwardly wait for her to return. Just as I was maybe possibly going to make a decision, I noticed someone trotting up to me.

“Come here often?” asked a centaur. The tone he used implied that he knew I didn’t.

I warily shook my head and in response he chuckled and smoothly took the seat beside me. Obviously, he didn’t sit in it but with his large equine body standing there, no one else was going to be using that bar stool.

“Sorry, you just looked a bit lost, so I figured I’d come over and chat you up.”

Implying he’s doing me a favor by hitting on me… This guy is a player.

I took a closer look at the centaur and had mixed feelings. He had a sort of rugged Nordic charm with his tousled blonde hair and muscular upper body. That alone would normally be enough of a reason to let him “chat me up,” but my issue was with the lower half. I came here looking for something exotic, but a horse was maybe a bit too wild.

We spoke back and forth for a while, and I was giving him some clear signs of rejection. I knew he noticed but this conversation just wasn’t ending. I didn’t want to just shoot him down, since I was genuinely grateful that he came over to talk to me, but maybe it was time to rip the band aid off.

“Look it’s been nice talking to you but…”

“It’s the horse body, isn’t it?”

“Whaa…? No, Bjorn, I just feel like we’re not really connecting, you know?”

…So much for ripping the band aid off. Ugh, why am I like this?

The centaur gave me a suspicious look. “Then you’d feel the same way if I turned into a vampire?”

“You can do that?” I asked a little too eagerly.

“When it’s night I turn into a vampire. Midnight just passed but I was holding back the transformation because I didn’t want to spook you. Anyways, here goes…”

A curtain of darkness suddenly enveloped Bjorn. It vanished as quickly as it came, shattering like glass. I gathered my courage to look at the freshly vampirified Bjorn… and promptly heaved a massive sigh.

“Are you screwing with me?”

“No? What are you talking about?”

It sounded like Bjorn didn’t understand what I meant but how could he not? The only thing that had changed was the length of his canines and the cape that had materialized on his back. As for his lower half, well…

“You’re still a centaur.”

“I’m a vampire now. When a human transforms into a vamp, you don’t call them ‘human vampires’ now do you?”

“Ok that was interesting and all, but I think we’re done here.”

I made to stand but the “vampire” frantically blocked me with his arm. “Wait, wait, wait. That one doesn’t do it, huh? No problem. Bartender! Get the picture!”

The bartender—some sort of squid man—rolled his large googly eyes and held up an incredibly realistic painting of the moon. Immediately, Bjorn groaned and grew fur all over his body. Even his horse half transformed… into a wolf’s lower body.

“How about this?” he growled, spreading his paws to show off his furry yet still clearly muscular chest. I shook my head reflexively and he sighed.

“Ok, wait right there.”

The next thing I knew I was watching a werecentaur cannonball into a pool. I chuckled a little when my friend and her entourage were bowled over by the resulting wave, but when Bjorn came back up, I couldn’t laugh anymore.

“What do you think?”

I teetered over to the pool to make sure my eyes weren’t deceiving me. Sea horse. Not a kelpie or a horse with fins, but an actual honest-to-god sea horse. Of course, that was just his lower half. Bjorn’s upper body had webbed hands and patches of scales but was otherwise human.

But more than his appearance, I was struck by the fact that he had just caused a huge scene, but his eyes were fixed on me. He was waiting anxiously for my opinion as if it was the only thing that mattered. I pressed my fingers together as I fought back a blush.

“I think this can work.”

“Really?”

“Yea, I… Ah!”

Bjorn lunged forward and pulled me into the water. I hugged him to keep my head above water, but I didn’t break away once I’d got my bearings. Interestingly, the water didn’t soak into my clothes. That must have been Bjorn using some kind of merman power.

“That’s great. I can turn into a dragon and a yeti as well, but those are more difficult.”

“Hmm? Dragon? I wouldn’t mind a dragon.”

“…We’ll have to wait until summer.”

---

The next day, I found myself sitting in a Starbucks with my friend who’d abandoned me. We were both a little hungover, but it was our conversation that was giving me a headache.

“So, you slept with a seahorse.”

“He’s a dragon… sometimes.”

“Uh-huh.”

“I don’t know. He tried so many things that I got worn down.”

“Oldest trick in the book. That guy’s a real player.”

“Dammit, I know.”

“—He’s not pregnant, right? You know… being a seahorse and all.”

For the first time in my life, I did a genuine spit take.

One extraordinarily embarrassing phone call later—during which I confirmed that I was not the father—I decided to stick to normal bars for the time being.