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versenwald3 t1_iuf7pa9 wrote

"Stand back, milady," Sir Alagard dismounted and drew his sword as he approached the wooden bridge, placing himself protectively between Tania and the troll.

"In the name of King Leobold, I'll cut down this filthy troll. No longer will it prey on hapless travelers."

"Now, wait just one moment!" Vrisk the Stout planted his hands on his hips.

Alagard stopped in his tracks, confused by the ringing tone of command in the troll's voice.

"First of all," Vrisk began, "calling me a 'filthy troll' is very hurtful. Didn't your parents ever teach you any manners?"

"Well, yes," Sir Alagard said. "But...you're a troll."

"So manners don't apply to me because I'm a troll? That's species-ism, that is. I know we trolls are uglier than a donkey's backside, but that's no reason to treat us with such disrespect." Vrisk spat at Sir Alagard's feet and looked over at Tania. "I don't know if I'd stick around with this lot, lady!" he yelled. "He's like to ditch you the moment you get a white hair."

Tania covered her mouth, masking her unladylike giggle.

"And," Vrisk continued his tirade, "Second of all, I built this bridge. Spent days hauling logs, chopping them into just the right size, lashing them together, getting my poor unmentionables wet each time I forded the river. I think it's quite reasonable for me to charge a toll, don't you?"

"But..." Alagard seemed at a loss for words. "You're a troll."

"Yes, we established that two minutes ago. Do try to keep up with the conversation, please. Anyhow, you know what's not reasonable?"

"What?" Tania asked, merriment dancing in her eyes.

"Pulling out a sword and threatening bloody murder instead of paying a toll. That's unreasonable."

"He has a point, Sir Alagard," Tania smiled. "We should pay him and be on our way."

"W-well, he could be lying!" Sir Alagard stuttered. "Say he just happened upon this bridge, claimed it as his own, and is reaping profits despite never having lifted a finger for it."

"Also unreasonable: accusing strangers of lying with absolutely no evidence to back it up."

"Fine, fine," Sir Alagard grumbled as he fumbled around in his coin-purse. "Hope it's worth eating tasteless gruel and sleeping in bug-ridden beds when we're out of coppers."

---

/r/theBasiliskWrites

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RoboJoe9000 OP t1_iufaknv wrote

I like it. Thanks for writing! :)

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versenwald3 t1_iufbtba wrote

Thanks for the prompt! I had fun with it.

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RoboJoe9000 OP t1_iufeie7 wrote

I'm glad to hear that! :) I love seeing what people do with my prompts. I liked the way yours was set up and written

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HiddenThinks t1_iugcnf0 wrote

Knight has a good point though. . . If it were me, I'd like to see some proof of ownership of the bridge, preferably certified with an official stamp that I recognise. Otherwise, no deal.

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FawksyBoxes t1_iuk41r0 wrote

And then the troll just picks it up and walks off with it XD

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ZeenTex t1_iuhqxrd wrote

I detect a bit of Terry pratchett influence in your comment.

Well done.

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versenwald3 t1_iuhyh5t wrote

thank you!! high praise

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ZeenTex t1_iui4cg2 wrote

I actually read it in the troll voice from that disc world game from back in the 90s, the voice actors were spot on.

And high praise indeed. That was pratchett in his best days.

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