I looked down at the ring in her hand...the silver ring. "Babe, I accept your proposal," I said. "But I have to break it to you...I'm a werewolf."

"Wut." There was an incredulous look on her face.

"It's true! Hang on, let me double check my 'phases of the moon' app." The app showed tonight was indeed a full moon, and indeed it was currently over the horizon, so I could bend the rules a bit and transform during the day. I grunted and pushed, almost like taking a dump, and felt my muscles rapidly expand and contract as they increased in size. My clothes expanded with me -- thank God for spandex -- and fur erupted out all over. I ran my tongue over my newly elongated teeth, then grinned as I turned back to my (hopefully) fiancee to reassure her that I wasn't a mindless, bloodthirsty beast...but stopped short when I saw she was crying, and not out of fear. "Honey, what's wrong?"

"It's just..." she began to gasp out. "It's just...I was always Team Edward!"

I groaned. Those fucking books! "Babe, if you think I'm gonna do something stupid like imprint on your menses --"

"No, no," she said, shaking her head. "I just...need some time alone, to think about things." She pocketed the ring and left.

Those fucking books. I'd take a silver piercing in the junk if it meant I'd never have to hear about them again.