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Atreigas t1_je9oogc wrote

Reply to comment by RedChessQueen in [WP] The eldritch god stood before the girl, in almost human form. "Your parents sold you to be my bride. I accepted, knowing that if I didn’t, they will just try another deity, but I will not force this on you. Have this credit card and live as you wish. If you want something else instead, just ask by Rattrap2474

Don't worry, wanting to talk about your work is only natural, that desire is pretty overlapping with the desire to make and share it in the first place. Doesn't make you a narcissist.

I feel like the stone and tree stuff should probably be in the story itself, but yeah it's quite the leap from here to that epilogue.

I like the idea of his little shrine slowly building into an orphanage again. Lots of places this story could develop into. It's nice.

Stella and her divine dad patron. Love it.

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RedChessQueen t1_jecaq3y wrote

I like to talk about writing and ideas and themes! And I got excited about it- and I usually don't see others do the same, I wish they did, so when I do it, it feels very self centered.

I like the idea of the over arching family in the background, the tree was a way for the family to redeem themselves or just prove they still see their daughter as property, like they would an object. You reap what you sow. If this were to be a longer story I would have the family turn up to visit every now and then, talk about the tree, become more lax, starting to treat the God less like a God and more of a son in law, demanding, expecting things, which he does for the sake of his "wife" who still loves her family, but grows to understand that some people are goddamn terrible.

And I was stuck on what the girls character was, inquisitive, but not studious, not adventurous, and for a while emotionally stunted. She might come to belive that the god does see her as property because of her parents influance, or a more complex house plant, not a student, ward or daughter. She might have a fear she'll be abandoned once she's no longer a child, her angst teen phase that of resentment and sadness.

I think I will run with this, and try and post more when I have time. I'm stealing time at work right now.

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