Two men in smooth black suits stood at the doorway, Bibles in hand. "We come in the name of God," the taller one said.

I wanted to welcome them as I normally did, but I heard a deep "shhhh!" from behind me. Not wanting to give Jesus away, and not wanting to stare silently at the men, I whispered a simple "hello"

"Good sir, you seem rather nice this morning," the shorter one said, motioning towards my suit. "Say, do you happen to know God?"

"I do," I whispered back.

"Ahem, there's no reason to be quiet, the taller one said."

"Tell them we're not interested," Jesus whispered behind me.

But, why? I thought, flabbergasted. We almost never turned anyone away. Yet, I was not one to disobey a direct command from the Lord.

"We're not interested," I spoke loudly.

"We?" the taller one said. "Who else is there?"

"Shut the door," Jesus whispered in a hurried tone.

I did as commanded, hearing a loud bang as it closed.

"Good work, Saint Peter," Jesus said. I turned to him. He saw my facial expression and explained at once. "They've been peddling a God who only remotely resembles me for over a hundred and fifty years. They've led millions astray and their religion has caused misery en-masse."

"But I thought we forgave everyone?" I asked.

"We do. And we will, once they've spent some time being reminded of the pain they've caused."

I looked through the peephole of the door and saw their feet being pulled down by the Hand of Satan.

r/StoriesToThinkAbout