The following transcripts were compiled from voice messages left on the employee services line for Callisto Research Base 115.

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2399-08-11T13:44:05.890981Z

Hello, this is Thomas Lee calling from lab 507B. I am currently experiencing a problem with the trash bin; it keeps repeating the message "please clear the trash receptacle" even though the bin is empty. Please call back or send a tech. My employee number is E9910394, my desk phone is 78-234-200-3198. Thank you.

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2399-08-11T14:02:12:091383Z

Hello, this is Thomas Lee from 507B again. The employee services line webpage says your hours of operation are from 6am to 10pm so I'm not sure why you're not getting back to me. I'm still experiencing trouble with the trash bin, which is repeatedly telling me to "please clear the trash receptacle" despite being empty.

I'm going head to the cafeteria for another strawberry-banana smoothie; if you could get a tech down here while I'm out that would be just super. Again, you can reach me at 78-234-200-3198. Thanks.

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2399-08-11T14:11:54.324882Z

Hi. This is Tom. Are you guys even in the office today? The trash can has been telling me to "please clear the trash receptacle" every five seconds for the last half hour. I need someone to fix this; it's seriously affecting my ability to get work done.

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2399-08-11T14:38:33.002741Z

Please clear the trash receptacle.

Please clear the trash receptacle.

Please clear the trash receptacle.

See how annoying this is?

Please clear the trash receptacle.

Please clear the trash receptacle.

Puh-lee-ease clear the trash receptacle.

This is the employee services line. I'm an employee. I need services. It's been, like, an hour at this point. Please get back to me.

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2399-08-11T14:52:02.091244Z

Hi there. Tom from 507B here. Am I going insane? I walked my ass all the way down to the employee services center and the door was locked and the lights are out. I need services. I need someone to fix my stupid trash can. Is anyone home? Or am I the only person on this stupid moon?

I'm gonna lose it. If I hear the phrase "please clear the trash receptacle" one more time I'm stepping out of the airlock in my underwear. And yes, please do report me to mental health services for that threat. Tom out.

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2399-08-11T15:32:49.328813Z

Hello, this is Thomas Lee. I left a few messages on the employee services line earlier and I'd like to report that they can be disregarded. I was having a problem with the trash receptacle in my lab but it turns out there was just strawberry-banana smoothie spilled on the sensor; it's working fine now.

By the way, I heard around the water cooler that you guys were going to be out from one to four today for Sheryl's back-to-Earth goodbye party. Hope that was fun!

Please do not report me to mental health services.

That's all.

Again, this was Thomas Lee, employee E9910394. Thank you.