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JustAnotherAviatrix t1_j8v2mil wrote

A supervillain has the clumsiest henchman ever who somehow still manages to get things done.

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NextEstablishment856 OP t1_j8v6630 wrote

"Ah, DisTress, my old nem—whoa! Oof! Yowch!" Professor Pain stumbled off the platform as Herniac slipped on his own mop, slamming into his bosses back. On the bright side, it move the Professor out of DisTress's line of fire, preventing a blast of laser breath from striking him. Not that either the villain or his henchman noticed.

"Herniac, why are you mopping when a hero is in the lair?"

"Gotta keep the place looking nice for company, sir," the henchman replied. He also attempted a salute, hitting off his helmet and dropping the mop. He bent to grab the mop, slipped, and kicked the helmet back. Just as DisTress was running at them, she planted a foot in the sliding helmet, fell, and caught her face on the mop handle as Herniac lifted it as a brace to aid his own recovery.

"Oh dear," Pain said, looking at the unconscious hero. "Well, let's get her restrained. I'll have to wait for her to come around before I do my monologue."

"Understood, sir," came the reply from the ground, as Herniac had fallen once more when the mop was struck. He attempted a salute from his reclined position, which seemed to go well, even with the mop getting knocked away from him, stopping perfectly blocking the door, and later preventing other heroes from entering in time to stop the missile launch.

Fortunately, by that point, the Professor had sent Herniac on a coffee run, so the heroes did disarm the missile before it blew up the Orphan and Puppy Hospital. The coffee would also be thwarted, spilled in the hallway, but it was for the best, as the Professor certainly needed to cut back on the caffeine.

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