icarusso t1_j1yallx wrote on December 28, 2022 at 7:53 AM

Reply to comment by greenknight884 in Kids realize what you did for them and appreciate it once they have kids of their own. Spouses or SOs don’t realize or appreciate it until you’re gone. by Yourfaceis-23

You got it backwards. Parents owe everything to the new life they willingfully bring into this world, children don't have to be thankful for receiving what is rightfully theirs.

Setheran t1_j1zkrhe wrote on December 28, 2022 at 4:05 PM

I can be thankful when my parents gave me WAAAAAAY more than what is rightfully mine. Especially when every single penny they earned was spent on my sister and I.

Yeah parents do owe us when they bring us into the world, but good parents who do more than what they should deserve to be praised, and being grateful doesn't mean I'm thankful because they gave me a roof and food, which of course I'm owed.

Solrinin t1_j207rt1 wrote on December 28, 2022 at 6:37 PM

I think for the most part, parents get the kids they deserve. If you were a good parent, your kid will probably learn to be grateful and show it. If you were a shitty parent your kid probably won't be. And usually the parents I see bitching about their ungrateful kids are the ones that think they did a good job because they "provided a roof and food for them growing up".

dreamatoriumx t1_j1zqoin wrote on December 28, 2022 at 4:45 PM

Wow. I like this.

[deleted] t1_j1ygyqe wrote on December 28, 2022 at 9:22 AM

[removed]

Ghaladh t1_j1ymlbc wrote on December 28, 2022 at 10:41 AM

You don't have children, I suppose. Do you think parents who deserve praises do the bare minimum? Some walk the extra mile all the times. To be a decent parent all you have to do is feed and educate your children and care for them. That's all nature demands. There is a lot more that gets done beyond that and no sense of entitlement could be rightfully diminish the value of what's being done

icarusso t1_j1yn0dl wrote on December 28, 2022 at 10:47 AM

Human isn't a pet.

Ghaladh t1_j1yn686 wrote on December 28, 2022 at 10:49 AM

I'm glad you think that. I share the same view.

oldcretan t1_j1zm7mz wrote on December 28, 2022 at 4:15 PM

I understand where your coming from in regards to the demands on parenting. It's no easy task to be a good parent and it's common to see parents who do a shit job by doing the bare minimum. Where I disagree is with the need to show gratitude. My parents never asked for gratitude from me and I will never ask it from my two kids. Being a good parent is first and foremost a duty, going above and beyond as a parent is a part of that duty. You don't get a thank you for doing your job. That being said I always give gratitude where I can because I am truly grateful for people who do things for me. I regularly remind my parents that I'm grateful for what I am and that their love, hard work, and lessons made me the person I am today. I credit them for all of my successes.

Secondly it's evolutionarily beneficial for me to do my best for my kids so they can be the best people they can be. I don't expect gratitude for something that benefits me.