Submitted by Major-Week428 t3_z7rgil in Showerthoughts
Comments
somerandomcarrot576 t1_iy8gl8x wrote
Even if they cut your balls off?
PhysicsLord007 t1_iy8l71x wrote
Now that's the real question
UlteriorCulture t1_iy8mv30 wrote
Where are my testicles Summer?
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___balls__ t1_iy8n2vl wrote
i'll do everything for that biscuit
Sssarg0n t1_iy8ozll wrote
Yeah that'd make it better actually
[deleted] t1_iy97slg wrote
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vercertorix t1_iy938s9 wrote
Don’t forget stolen from your parents and siblings, you can’t go outside unless allowed, can’t hang out with your own kind unless allowed, little choice in what you eat and usually it’s the same crap every day, basically you have about as many choices as are allowed human prisoners, though probably comfier digs.
Oh and some people are shitty or even sadistic pet owners. And you don’t get to complain about that either. And some people will put you down rather than pay for a slightly expensive medical procedure.
bigboypantss t1_iy91rnm wrote
What if you had to give up all autonomy?
Scharobaba t1_iy87goh wrote
AFAIK most kings do not eat from bowls and are allowed on the couch.
Amehvafan t1_iy88crr wrote
If someone gives me free food I don't care what I have to eat from as long as it's clean.
And what kind of people doesn't allow their dog on the couch?!
XxSoullessSpiritxX t1_iy8q0qx wrote
My parents.
You're looking for my parents. They refuse to even let the big one in the house because they never potty trained him. I feel so bad for him but I don't know what I can do.
Seikuo t1_iy8x1o6 wrote
"He's not potty trained - idk what i can do" 🤔
XxSoullessSpiritxX t1_iy978rl wrote
Even if he was, they wouldn't let him in anyway. Him not being potty trained is just their excuse so it doesn't seem like they're being cruel.
StefanPerica t1_iy8u9j9 wrote
People that don't want their dogs to ruin their furniture. You vacuum your furniture daily or is it just dirty from the dogs? Fur, saliva etc.
ThisIsNotASpiceDream t1_iy8xgkr wrote
If you care that much about the furniture, dogs are not for you.
DadHeungMin t1_iy8xrqo wrote
Seriously. Nice furniture vs pets: choose one.
StefanPerica t1_iy9f772 wrote
Yet for the first time in 22years i live without a dog xD
StefanPerica t1_iy9fo0q wrote
In my last home, all of my family members including our dogs had their own bed. Why should they be on the couch?
ThisIsNotASpiceDream t1_iy9lxdl wrote
Why shouldn't they be? Couches are equally comfortable to asses of all species.
slackmandu t1_iy93wm0 wrote
Then don't have visitors as well.
I don't want to come home covered in dog fur
littlebitsofspider t1_iy8vwq8 wrote
People who've never heard of blankets?
shmip t1_iy8wutl wrote
dog owners vs dog lovers
The_Unreliable_94 t1_iy901fx wrote
>And what kind of people doesn't allow their dog on the couch?!
Psychopaths.
My 7 month old pup that I got from a family a couple of days ago has been sleeping in my bed since I brought him home and chills on the sofa when I'm at home.
He absolutely doesn't like strangers, but settled down in the car after a few minutes and then quickly chilled out when I got him home and found something he liked to play with.
smugvaporeon t1_iy8ddsy wrote
Bruh you don't let your dog on the couch?
And what are you talking about? Since when are bowls classist???
HelloKitty36911 t1_iy8jg4x wrote
Didn't you know??
Kings categorically avoid soup of any kind.
smugvaporeon t1_iy8kp3m wrote
We'll hot dang
Timmy26k t1_iy8fwpv wrote
You don't think kings eat food from bowls? Do kings not fuck with soup?
bryan3737 t1_iy8lkzo wrote
I would assume they’d rather eat the soup but I’m not a king so idk. They might be fucking it as well
Rawesome16 t1_iy8eb5h wrote
My dog is allowed on the couch though. Bed too. Just not under the covers
AxiousDeMorte t1_iy8jq1d wrote
Yep, yep, under the covers is asking for a mess of fur. On top of the covers and curled up behind my knee, best sleep aid ever! Her soft snores and gentle sleep gallops are so sweet and relaxing, gonna spoil this one for the rest of her days 🐾💕
Edit: a word
cyanide_55 t1_iy8tlwk wrote
Uhh... eating out of a bowl is a super normal and human thing to do...? Soup, ramen, rice, cereal, endless other things?
xPilioka t1_iy8ykrk wrote
My dog is on my couch as I'm replying to your 10IQ take.
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Antisocialite99 t1_iy8d1qq wrote
My dog asked me to kidnap him. He made it really really clear....
First he kept whining and crying trying to jump into my car but it was too full. So I came back and got him later.
Then I had to leave him at a shelter and then guy who ran it told me he got along with everyone but as soon as people tried to adopt him he growled at rhem and refused to get in their car.
He was waiting for me. He'd already decided I was his human, long before I kidnapped him.
They choose their humans sometimes. It's not always so obvious but they do.
Juddahnaut t1_iy8yda1 wrote
The dog chooses the owner Mr Potter
allykopow t1_iy922cc wrote
Kidnapped by choice 😊
ThaMidnightOwL t1_iy92yfb wrote
What a beautiful boy
randomdudenumber6 t1_iy8e32t wrote
My dogs weren't even kidnapped. They were both strays that just walked in and decided to live with me. Like literally walked up to me as puppies. Didn't want a dog but one of them decided to be sick on my doorstep and I felt bad and didn't want them to die on my porch. Took them to the vet and had to name them. Now I suddenly have 2 dogs. Felt like I was scammed.
schteavon t1_iy91af7 wrote
Thee ol' I'm sick and dying on your front porch scam.... seen it a hundred times and it works 100% of the time too.
SexPanther_Bot t1_iy91gpf wrote
Sex Panther® is a cologne which is illegal in 9 countries.
It is also made from bits of real panthers.
60% of the time, it works every time.
lightknight7777 t1_iy885g7 wrote
Would that I could be kidnapped the way dogs are "kidnapped". Less the neutering bit though.
She_Plays t1_iy8cdma wrote
This dynamic really out here existing irl with BDSM.
lightknight7777 t1_iy8d4gq wrote
BDSM is feeding someone food they like every meal, cuddling and playing with them?
"Yeah, he said he was into BDSM but then he cooked me a nice meal, took me on a lovely walk in a park and then we cuddled. I actually had to initiate anything more..."
Bloodshed-1307 t1_iy9a67a wrote
Yes, it’s a very broad term. The 4 letters represent 6 words
lightknight7777 t1_iy9fivr wrote
"Mmm, this steak is soooo good I need a safe word...."
She_Plays t1_iycxzav wrote
Pet play, pet life. I'm not an expert, I just know it exists
lightknight7777 t1_iycydk6 wrote
When I was a kid, that was just called role-playing.
NikPorto t1_iy8l1u9 wrote
Basically all dogs that love their owners, have Stockholm Syndrome? Sounds about right.
schteavon t1_iy91jwh wrote
I'm met my dogs parents and the mom kept pushing the puppy towards me and trying to give me their child. So I decided to raise the puppy in a house that it could feel loved in, instead of growing up with a mom who didn't want them.
efekrnff t1_iy9331w wrote
Dude I adopted a doğ like an hour ago and now you are makeing ne feel bad
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arcspectre17 t1_iy9l85l wrote
Mine is a rescue she was going to be put down shes is now a grandma.
Ok-Signature4723 t1_iy8log8 wrote
This wouldn't apply. Dogs were trained and domesticated from ages ago to be with us. Dogs found in the wild are called feral and its a consequence from poor handling of the human, but not a natural occurence.
This thought it's like saying that parents kidnap their kids whose later fall in love with them.
mfries121 t1_iy93qyh wrote
They weren't really domesticated, they kinda domesticated themselves.
Amehvafan t1_iy7vn8b wrote
If I was kidnapped and treated like a fucking king and given a much better life than I would ever be able to get for myself then I wouldn't complain much about it either.