Comments

You must log in or register to comment.

Elgre t1_j46fwd2 wrote

Alright...

So, in America a drill sargent waits for his new batch of recruits. The bus pulls up and they start piling out.

"Line up!" He shouts and they all get in order. Except one guy who stands up from his pack he's been sitting on over to one side.

The recruit gets up and walks over calmly to join the line.

The drill sargent is livid with this green skin and decides to put the fear of God into the man.

"Recruit! What is your name?"

"Me names Shaun mate." Replies the recruit with an aussie twang.

"Tell me Shaun, did you come here to die?"

"Nah mate," he responds, "I got 'ere yesterday."

292

Own-Cupcake7586 t1_j46elij wrote

Australian flies to America and immediately gets in a fight. Next day he’s laid up in the hospital, bruised and battered. Doctor comes in, looks at his chart.

Doc says “What, did you come here just to die?”

Aussie replies “Nah, mate, got here yesterday.”

75

Professional-Pay-888 t1_j470gzq wrote

Just a tip but did you try searching for the punchline?

Edit: wouldnt work in this case but for future reference

12

Gil-Gandel t1_j47g6f7 wrote

Some suggestions already. Also, a lad waking up grievously injured in hospital and asking "...did they bring me here to die?". "No mate, they brought you in yesterdie".

11

Dos_horn t1_j47c82f wrote

Do the accents. My version was a German and an Australian. ‘Flaming mongrel’

5

DesperateBartender t1_j47e1cr wrote

I heard it as follows:

An American pilot is flying over Australia when he is forced to make a crash landing. He comes to in an Australian hospital. Disoriented and badly hurt, he turns to the nurse in the room and weakly asks “did I come here to die?” The nurse cheerfully replies, “no, mate, you came here yesterday!”

4

lazernanes t1_j47jd41 wrote

An American lands in Melbourne, is crossing the street at the airport, looks left, and gets hit by a car coming at him from the right.

He wakes up in the hospital and begins to rant, "you stinking Australians! Driving on the wrong side of the street! Did I come to this country to die?"

Nurse: no, you came here yesterday.

I like this version better, because the guy's near death is associated with being in the country. In the other versions, there's no connection between the person coming to Australia and dying.

4

Dragonflyjnr t1_j47lhfs wrote

This could be a new way to repost a joke without reposting it. Touche OP touche

2

Shiroiiko t1_j47memj wrote

Anything can be a joke if u laugh dont worry

1

VeritosCogitos t1_j48gv3n wrote

I can’t help you as I’m not a comedian.

1

[deleted] t1_j46dx12 wrote

[deleted]

−109

Arrowdoesreddit t1_j46jjdh wrote

Nr 1 That sub doesn't exist

Nr 2 Not like we see that everyday. Is it that big of a problem that we helped 1 person find a joke?

62

Any-Obligation22 t1_j47jpwu wrote

On a side note and out if curiosity, interesting abbreviation for the word number. I usually see it as 'No.' Is that a thing in your country/ language?

0

Ghaladh t1_j4790sf wrote

Dude, who cares, it's just one isolated request. If that starts to become a trend, the mods will most certainly forbid it. Until then, let the dude find his joke.

12

WalenBlekitny999 t1_j47bqwh wrote

You do realize there is this hidden option in every device on reddit that allows you to, surprise surprise, not click on the post you don't want to?

11