I recently asked my friend's little girl what she wanted to be when she grew up. She said she wanted to be president of the United States.

Submitted by Krunk3r-io t3_yhzn6d in Jokes

Both of her parents, Democrats , were standing there, so I asked her what she would do first. She replied: "I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people." Her parents beamed.

“Wow, what a worthy goal,” I told her, “but you don't have to wait until you're president to do that. You can come over to my house, mow the lawn, pull weeds and sweep my driveway, and I will pay you $50. Then I will take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward a new house and food.”

She thought it over for a few seconds, then asked, "Why doesn't the homeless guy come over to your house and do the work and you can just pay him the $50?"

I said, "Welcome to the Republican Party."

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pitilessRifleman320 t1_iugk1n7 wrote

Homeless guy comes over to the house, ‟I heard you pay $50 to mow the grass, pull weeds, and sweep your yard.”

‟You have got three seconds to get off my property, ya filthy liberal.”

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Huge_Strain_8714 t1_iujfe95 wrote

Correct, that's more realistic. And if the homeless person is a person of color well then you immediately call the cops so they can tazw him, mace him and then incarcerate him at the behest of the homeowner, the Republican homeowner.

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hardDouse55 t1_iugjfm9 wrote

The onyl way to actually gain admission to the Republican Party is to receive this joke via email chain from an aol or prodigy accunt.

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marzipan07 t1_iugmm1h wrote

Lol, good one. A girl wanting to become president would never be welcomed to the Republican Party.

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BelAirGhetto t1_iugj2tq wrote

I have been thinking that I would make a proposition to my Republican friends ... that if they will stop telling lies about the Democrats, we will stop telling the truth about them, 😂

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burningriverallstar t1_iugnlha wrote

Except the kid only got offered $50 because it’s his friend’s kid. Really he’d offer the homeless guy $5, the homeless guy would leave, then he would shout about how “nobody wants to work anymore”.

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[deleted] t1_iugjs5k wrote

[removed]

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giant_tadpole t1_iuhqj3k wrote

And subsequently forcing her to carry the pregnancy to term or her death, whichever comes sooner?

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RandyAcorns t1_iugncev wrote

$50 toward a new house and food??

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R0nos t1_iuh5v9s wrote

I thought this was r/Jokes this sounds more like r/Real

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modohobo t1_iuj5esv wrote

She then decided that she liked the Republican's ideas of working for the $50 so she could get a house. She kept working and working and working and working until she died.

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Spazthing t1_iuif3hj wrote

You forgot to mention the child "Identifies as their daughter", just started puberty blockers, and her gender identity is fully backed by her parents. That's the only way I see her getting any kind of Republican presidential nod for this kid.

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DOPPELGANGER_86 t1_iui2s86 wrote

After you have earned that $50, you can surrender $25 to the state, and the state will use that money to buy the homeless man half a bologna sandwich.

What’s that? That’s not the cost of half a bologna sandwich? Your right. You can pay for the difference in property and sales tax.

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Soggy-Term666 t1_iuh2ilg wrote

Stupid Democrats are just not funny…but at least they can serve as a punchline

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zodar t1_iuk9gnj wrote

"Trump lost the 2020 election by 7M votes and 74 electoral college votes," said the girl.

So the Republican broke her kneecaps with a hammer.

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