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stinkstankstunkiii t1_jdcjt9p wrote

Reply to comment by blondiemandie38 in Police: Stamford woman sexually assaulted teen, gave alcohol to minors by jaydecay123

it's really a fkn example of why boys don't come forward when they are assaulted. Bc of assholes like them, saying their bs, laughing at it, saying it's not assault. Pisses me off.

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Jackers83 t1_jdckci0 wrote

Yea, you’re definitely not wrong. It’s just a small slice of the prototypical masculine, strong ego, endlessly attempting to add notches of conquest to the sword hilt that is our life. It’s been ingrained in us guys since forever. It really has I think. Movies, tv shows, comics, video games. It’s working.

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blondiemandie38 t1_jdcl2hr wrote

If the tables were turned, people would be rioting. Hope the victim isn’t reading any comments like some of these and taking care of himself, and I hope she does prison time.

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Extra_Mango_8547 t1_jdco9ak wrote

They would not be rioting. This happens daily.

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blondiemandie38 t1_jdcr0d8 wrote

True true. Poor choice of words. More so just meant the comment section would look very different

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_343_Guilty_Spark__ t1_jdcqavq wrote

Seriously lol. “Grown man offers underage teenage girls alcohol at beach, lures one into the bathroom to sexually molest them”, people would be calling for the guy’s head

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Extra_Mango_8547 t1_jdctle4 wrote

No they wouldn't. It happens all the time. The only reason why headlines like these get your attention is because it's a woman doing it to males.

Men finally can point the finger and act like a saint.

I'm not saying what she did was right. It was a really wrong thing to do, period.

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_343_Guilty_Spark__ t1_jdd22tr wrote

To assume that I only care because “Look, look, women bad also haha!” is possibly the most insulting thing I’ve ever read about myself on Reddit. Any other generalizations you would like to throw out?

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Extra_Mango_8547 t1_jddesbe wrote

Wow. I'm going to now assume you're a male then? Or associate as being one?

You, my dear neighbor, made a comment that was extremely generalized and grossly incorrect. My one snarky comment got yourself all insulted? To generalize that most of the men commenting on this isn't at least partially, deep down, a little relieved to finally share that "shame on" you spotlight with a female? Honestly, I would be at least a little bit and I wouldn't blame a single male that did. What do I take issue with is making comments that are grossly understating what a female has to deal with every single day and how they have been raised in this society and how they are dealt with.

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Funny_stuff554 t1_jdepjc6 wrote

Just because it happens all the time doesn’t mean the comment section wouldn’t be different.

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Extra_Mango_8547 t1_jderq4d wrote

The comment sections are generally what is made safe by the overriding group. Doesn’t mean it’s correct. Are we supposed to just let people spread propaganda and shrug our shoulders?

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Funny_stuff554 t1_jdf0uue wrote

What are you even talking about? there would be more outcry if the victim was a girl

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Extra_Mango_8547 t1_jdf6sxb wrote

Explain that to me. Also, explain to me if the female was a male. And the victims remain male. I’m not seeing those huge stories that literally happen every 👏single👏day👏

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Funny_stuff554 t1_jdf84hg wrote

If one thing happens more than the other doesn’t mean it’s worse. Most men don’t report sexual assault. I was touched by my baby sitter but I have never told anyone. This is the first time I am actually talking about it online because it’s Reddit and it’s anonymous in a sense that my pic and name is not on my profile. Most men just don’t report it because “You are a man so be a man”. I have also been asked for sex inappropriately at work and nobody knows it except for me and 2 of my coworkers who were there. So you 👏 don’t 👏 hear it 👏 everyday 👏 because most men don’t report it. There I explained it. Btw in my case both suspects were women not men.

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Extra_Mango_8547 t1_jdfbdmf wrote

Thank you. Thank you for sharing that. I know more men that have be sexually assaulted than I would have imagined in my normal day to day life. It’s horrifying. I’ve talked (anonymously) with men that wanted a young girl. It’s scary how many people have been traumatized at an early age, regardless of being male or female. It’s something that shouldn’t be normalized. This awful behavior transcends male or female. My only point is that the happy band wagon of comments saying if it was a man doing it to girls we would all be mad. I’m mad regardless of genders. No one should victimize another for their own pleasure against someone else’s. Can’t we all stop throwing stones at each other on this topic and turn our attention to people (regardless of sex) that take advantage of children period?

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Funny_stuff554 t1_jdfh571 wrote

I agree with you.

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Extra_Mango_8547 t1_jdfi1b4 wrote

Thank you. This is obviously triggering for anyone that’s dealt with something like this. Doesn’t matter sex. It happens. Doesn’t mean it’s okay either way. I appreciate you.

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Page-This t1_jdd5ndy wrote

>Men finally can point the finger and act like a saint.

You’d be a lot easier to agree with without this part…it reads pretty misandrist.

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Extra_Mango_8547 t1_jddbnbe wrote

> misandrist

Oh no! I wouldn't want to hurt any feelings here.

Men don't point fingers, because they are saints.

Women overreact about everything. They're all crazy and sex hungry and on their periods, hunting down young men for prey!

Is that easier to read? Because it seems like this feed is full of that. We don't want to correct people when their speaking nonsense, it's just easier to hit the vote buttons.

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Page-This t1_jddkrhx wrote

> We don't want to correct people when their speaking nonsense, it's just easier to hit the vote buttons.

This is a funny way to react to a comment that sought to correct some nonsense…but I guess I’ll vote for good measure too.

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Extra_Mango_8547 t1_jddmq42 wrote

Wait? You were correcting something? When?

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Page-This t1_jddnadh wrote

Careless or, perhaps, accidental misandry in your earlier comment.

But now I also feel the need to correct your misplaced anger…I’m just trying to help strengthen your argument by cleaning up distractions.

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Extra_Mango_8547 t1_jddntaa wrote

Ohhhhhhhhhh, I'm angry? Well shoot.

Thanks for putting me in my place. Great job! A+

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Page-This t1_jddo14z wrote

I get the sense you make your own life hard. Well, you do you.

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Extra_Mango_8547 t1_jde9vl7 wrote

It's actually not hard at all...and yet you keep judging me. I'm angry, I am careless with my words, my life is hard. I appreciate your projections and/or your creativeness in all of this. I would possibly recommend some time meditating on what's so troubling for you. I find this quite curious.

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netscorer1 t1_jdd2ycl wrote

There is a big difference. Males are physically much stronger then females. Even a teen after few beers should be able to resist assault of a skinny woman, no prob. But if he let it run the course, was it really an assault?

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Page-This t1_jdd6d3t wrote

Yes. Physical dominance isn’t some prerequisite for doing something gross…there are all sorts of power dynamics. In this case, it was the age of the victim.

To illustrate, a minor who posts nude selfies of their own volition doesn’t absolve downloaders from child porn charges.

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netscorer1 t1_jddbbkv wrote

A casual acquaintance at the beach and few beers shared together should not provide basis for power dynamics to develop and become a factor. Age difference makes it a statutory rape, but there’s a huge difference in a young girl being assaulted by a dominant male at the beach and a teen boy not fighting back when he has all the opportunity and necessary strength to defend himself.

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Page-This t1_jddm804 wrote

Your initial statement is the context for this back and forth:

>But if he let it run the course, was it really an assault?

Yes, is the answer.

Muscles have nothing to do with it…but, of course, we know nothing of the boy’s muscles so it really is a waste of time to generalize on gender differences of perps/victims in terms of physical features.

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maybe_little_pinch t1_jddfw4t wrote

Males often don’t fight back because they fear they will hurt their assailant and how it will be perceived.

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