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McSuzy t1_j6orle3 wrote

It seems the first thing to do is to postpone your trip.

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YourRAResource t1_j6oskp4 wrote

There's two separate issues here. First, if you're only taking this trip as a way to avoid your problems, you're still going to have those problems in Asia and when you return. You're refusing to get real help. You need to.

Second, I don't really understand what your trip has to do with your mother's surgery. You've never had any sort of relationship or provided any support. So why would taking a trip matter?

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nooonehi t1_j6ovokf wrote

My bad, the trip hasnt been planned with any utlerior motives, I just love traveling and finally found the time and money to do so and booked the trip 2 months ago. On the other hand my mom seemed to be doing good until now but just announced to us she'll get surgery. If anything were to happen to her while i'm at the other side of the world I would feel remorseful for the rest of my life. Basically the whole problem is that my anxiety is based on "what ifs", and thinking of a future where she is in a critic situation made me think about our whole relationship again. Basically I want to change and be a better daughter AND i'm worrying about this trip were if anything happens to her I would not be able to do anything for her.

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Singer-Such t1_j6ovwwu wrote

It wasn't your fault as a child not knowing how to handle the situation. Did you have at least one adult who cared for you? And it's not your fault now. You might start by talking to your mother and getting to know her personally.

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