Why do you feel you need to pay for their retirement or medical care? If they’re in the US for example, they can get Medicaid and Medicare to cover their medical and assisted living or skilled nursing. You don’t have to swoop in financially and honestly shouldn’t.

I’ve dealt with similar and while I’ve helped my mother and grandmother organize things, I am not paying their way. You are not their retirement plan. Live your life.

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Why do you have to be financially responsible for them in such an extent you can't pursue your own goals in life? I think you shouldn't have to. Sit down with them and ask how they see their own future, and how they plan to cope after retiring. Tell them to what extent you can help and what not. Don't wait until you feel you have no other choice but to pay for everything just because they make poor choices

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They are close to collecting SS at 67. Advise them to transfer things like the house or valuable possessions into your name. Retirement homes will confiscate everything if it has not been transferred more than five years before being "homed".

The 'reality' is you don't have to give them any money.