Submitted by Superbuddhapunk t3_y5naok in nottheonion
Comments
Superbuddhapunk OP t1_isklwuw wrote
During the night they had dance music and a disco ball with strobe lights, this Sunday morning it was a cup of coffee and around noon a mug of tea. It keeps getting better π
Superbuddhapunk OP t1_iskq0y4 wrote
Lettuce update:
The lettuce had cheese biscuits, cheddar and pork scratchings for dinner, and just settled for the night with an eye mask, paracetamol and a tape of whale song.
dog_eat_god t1_isl5o9t wrote
Strangely, this is more compelling than anything else going on in the world right now.
Superbuddhapunk OP t1_ism1jdf wrote
Lettuce-cast update:
Lettuce acquired a teddy bear and put on a lofi groove soundtrack.
dog_eat_god t1_ism1zm5 wrote
Keep the news flowing. This is like getting Santa updates on XMAS eve.
jimicus t1_isnhx7q wrote
The Lettuce has sprouted a blond wig, a bottle of Irn Bru and a packet of caffeine tablets. It is clearly in it for the long haul.
mfomatratzen t1_isn3b08 wrote
The disco lights made it difficult to see whether the lettuce was still there or put in the fridge overnight.
bright_shiny_objects t1_isknebf wrote
Jesus, the Brits can be brutal. Bravo.
jimicus t1_isl7rkk wrote
Considering that in just six weeks in office, Liz Truss has:
- Seen the death of the Queen. (I maintain this is not a coincidence).
- Done nothing for ten days because it was a period of national mourning.
- Crashed the economy, brought the pound almost level pegging with the dollar and very nearly destroyed an awful lot of people's pension funds.
- Sacked the Chancellor she appointed only a few weeks previously, then denied sacking him.
In theory, she has at least two years before we're due another election. So she could stay in power that long.
In practise, I wouldn't be terribly surprised if she either resigns or calls an election within the next week.
mypantsareonmyhead t1_islyvc8 wrote
Watching Britain and the US and A from afar - I swear, it's hard to tell which of the two is the biggest clusterfuck sometimes.
sexybimbogf t1_ismtrlu wrote
eh, we take turns. we're friendly like that tbh.
Pelicanliver t1_isn3w64 wrote
Canadian here. Hoping it all goes away. Some of the fever is creeping in around us.
whyhercules t1_isnfzzn wrote
You just know if people were to storm Downing Street, theyβd probably be doing the country a favour. Because somehow, worse and worse people keep getting put in charge. The electoral college may be dumb, but the British system isnβt much worse at the end of the day.
fat-bat t1_israxti wrote
Itβs us !(US) we are Still dealing with Trump and the people that want to take the country back to the 50βs
Simplyobsessed2 t1_ist0rwd wrote
Until they stop shooting five year olds at school the USA will always be the bigger clusterfuck.
The_Jealous_Witch t1_isnde7r wrote
A ten-day period of doing absolutely nothing being your best performance thus far isn't what I'd call a ringing endorsement.
jimicus t1_isne73x wrote
Considering she crashed the economy almost immediately after the ten day period, sheβd only actually been doing anything for about seven days at the time.
As one journalist pointed out, thatβs about the shelf life of a lettuce. Hence the live stream.
a4techkeyboard t1_isngauu wrote
Has he been sacked again? Because I watched either HIGNFY or Mock the Week and I swear for two weeks straight they talked about him having just been sacked.
Inconceivable-2020 t1_isopz7n wrote
If they even suspected that she was going to call for elections, Tories would have her disappeared.
HornyToad1984 t1_islv4t4 wrote
This was actually based on a (surprisingly tart and insightful) opinion piece in The Economist.
ReallyNotFondOfSJ t1_islv2lm wrote
She already has quite a head start on being rotten so it depends on how fresh the lettuce is, really.
Igmohump t1_islqty2 wrote
Not the " lettuce".
Larry_Phischman t1_ismutou wrote
DONβT. VOTE. CONSERVATIVE!
ItsNoah95 t1_ismcybf wrote
When we covered the UK in my comp gov class, my history teacher said that βLiz Truss will probably be gone by the end of this term. β
that_other_goat t1_ism2h7v wrote
lettuce see
Superbuddhapunk OP t1_isnenas wrote
Lettuce-cast updates:
-
(day 2) Saturday night the lettuce had dance music and a disco ball with strobe lights
-
(day 3) Sunday morning it had a cup of coffee, around noon a mug of tea. The lettuce had cheese biscuits, cheddar and pork scratchings for dinner, and settled for the night with an eye mask, paracetamol and a tape of whale song. Late at night Lettuce acquired a teddy bear, a little blanket and put on a lofi groove soundtrack.
-
(day 4) Monday morning the lettuce started the day with a bottle of IRN-BRU soft drink and a box of Pro-Plus caffeine/vitamins capsules. For lunch the lettuce had a mug of tea, pork scratchings, a block of cheddar and cheese crackers. Monday mid afternoon Letty the lettuce has lost the tea but gained a monopoly banknote, a pair of sunglasses and inexplicably a pair of feet. The frame with a portrait of Liz Truss is now facing the wall. Also during the day the channel showed several important political events, the policy speech of the new chancellor and part of the House of Commons proceedings. 5pm, Lettuce is under a desk along with the portrait of Liz Truss. 7:30 the Lettuce is enjoying a gin and tonic, still under the desk. 8:40 Letty switched from G&T to peppermint tea.
a4techkeyboard t1_isnggf8 wrote
The Lettuce sounds like a better public speaker. I've been to a Korean BBQ and I know Lettuce knows how to deliver pork and cheese better than Liz Truss can.
Snowfie_ t1_ismycc2 wrote
Can we just put the lettuce in charge? It's not really possible for it to do a worse job than our last three PMs.
mightyxsaros t1_it2chjj wrote
Lettuce won lol
kharjou t1_islx83a wrote
Me as a non-british person : where funny man?
I wasnt even aware you changed the dude that looked like he wasnt aware a comb was a thing
emvictoriaparkranger t1_isnsnts wrote
She's off to a great start that's for certain
spacecampreject t1_isnv6fr wrote
I assume by βsheβ, you are speaking of the lettuce.
emvictoriaparkranger t1_isoa8uf wrote
That wouldn't be inaccurate haha
MrMycroft t1_iso2ql0 wrote
Outsider looking in, but I feel like the UK would benefit from having all of their members of parliament replaced with heads of lettuce.
TheGreyWolfCat t1_isksx47 wrote
Yet the stupid fucks keep on voting their own demise.
Let vote yey for the destruction or our economy so we can do sassy thing on the internet so people can see how British we are. The Brits probably. πππ
ItDoesntMatter59 t1_isnjwi6 wrote
The conservatives chose her. Not the fucking UK public
FlyingFox86 t1_isnojz0 wrote
Yet the people do keep voting conservative.
dog_eat_god t1_iskl24i wrote
Brilliant!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sm-RE95lKJ0