Submitted by Phlegmbrandt t3_10vj9x0 in nottheonion
Comments
hour_of_the_rat t1_j7l7p95 wrote
r/mallninjashit
Mirabolis t1_j7i0fot wrote
No legislator can resist the money and power of Big Mall Ninja $hit.
InSanic13 t1_j7i0khf wrote
I don't get why you would bother banning these in the first place unless you were afraid of ninjas. I wouldn't complain about repealing a dumb ban like that.
BoredCop t1_j7jxhpy wrote
Throwing stars, nunchaku and a bunch of other stupid mall ninja shit got banned in several countries back in the 80's and early 90's.
Reason: affordable VHS players and popular rental videos, showcasing violent use of such "exotic" weapons, led to a public scare about Asian martial arts and obscure weapons somehow being a threat to society.
This was the heyday of the "Karate film", and also largely coinciding with "Satanic panic". People had previously been rather sheltered against outside cultural influence, had poor critical thinking skills, and suddenly kids everywhere were having fun throwing dangerous-looking homemade metal star thingies at every wooden wall or fence in sight. I'm not kidding, we had several of the more rowdy boys at school making throwing stars and nunchucks in shop class (we still had metal- and woodworking classes in school back then) and promptly getting in trouble for vandalism and/or injuring themselves.
While a sane and sensible solution should be better parenting, this was a time (both for better and for worse) when kids routinely spent many hours per day outdoors unsupervised without their parents having the slightest idea where they might be (because no mobile phones yet). So the opportunity for kids to do mischief was great, and the temptation for adult society to "do something" and simply ban the mostly useless "weapon toys" was equally great.
anal_opera t1_j7hxfxw wrote
To carry or just to possess? I've always thought it was weird I can buy a gun at walmart but can't even be in possession of a throwing star.
jkswede t1_j7iyqij wrote
Yeah I have no idea how they are not covered by the second amendment
anal_opera t1_j7j2uvw wrote
As far as I know the law says you can't have a knife with blades set at multiple angles, I always assumed that was specifically referring to tire poppers but throwing stars just happened to fit the description too.
Radioactiveglowup t1_j7jdg6i wrote
Klingon Daggers were clearly targeted.
ThingCalledLight t1_j7kq5j2 wrote
The only way to stop a bad guy with a bat’leth is a good guy with a bat’leth.
RandomModder05 t1_j7l4rkp wrote
The only way to stop a dishonorable targ with a bat’leth is a honorable warrior with a bat’leth.
There, fixed it for you.
ThingCalledLight t1_j7l9q42 wrote
Qatlho’. I have dishonored my house and graciously accept death by your blade.
TunaOnWytNoCrust t1_j7j4qhk wrote
Damn those forefathers thought of everything. Maybe they meant ninja stars instead of guns??
Chard069 t1_j7javkz wrote
The 2nd Amendment makes no mention of strangulation, nor edged / pointed weapons, nor firebombs. How careless of the Founding Fathers! (Note the absence of Mighty Mothers. Sad.)
Instead, the Constitution's authors and editors required that users of firearms be organized into a well-regulated militia. Like the National Guard unit I joined after my US Army service. Folks who want to possess firearms should be well-regulated, with monthly drills -- like the National Guard or Reserves.
Undisciplined shooters are more hazardous than untrained dogs and unschooled drivers. And when firearms, knives, and ninja stars are worshiped as holy objects, well... 8-(
SoVRuneseeker t1_j7jshou wrote
jkswede t1_j7k6zi5 wrote
It mentions arms , not guns. So it should cover swords bayonets knives etc….
Ecevits_Ghost t1_j7l85gp wrote
Does your copy of the constitution not include the 2.5th Amendment?
"A well regulated Ninja Troupe, being necessary to the security of a free Dojo, the right of the people to keep and bear throwing stars and nunchaku, shall not be infringed."
jkswede t1_j7ldrt5 wrote
Love it!! Yes they both say essentially the same thing :)
SJW_CCW t1_j7jxkjb wrote
Its super dumb the logic some places have.
ADDeviant-again t1_j7hwy0o wrote
Finally. We've waited so long! Fought so hard!
Justice!!!!!
Paradox_Dolphin t1_j7i54cy wrote
I'd like to thank all of the Ninja Rights activists.
Chard069 t1_j7jbmx8 wrote
Just wail till some USA jurisdiction authorizes silver-plated ninja-stars and throwing-knives to deal with mass uprisings of vampires and werewolves. No mercy for the undead!
Paradox_Dolphin t1_j7jdkjc wrote
But instead it's just that one black mirror episode, where they modify your brain implant to make you think that a certain type of person is a vampire or werewolf, specifically so you'll go out of your way to deliver what you think is justifice, but what is really a mass genocide against a people.
Chard069 t1_j7jooun wrote
Sounds like the pilot for a series on the LIFETIME channel. With estranged lovers who reconnect, sharing an O-Positive blood cocktail, no doubt. 8-)
ImpulseAfterthought t1_j7lbxqb wrote
You never see them, but they're out there.
downwardspiralstairs t1_j7hs8i5 wrote
I just want to be able to have a dagger because dagger is a fun word.
ElvisDumbledore t1_j7hx1xk wrote
Shiv, Dirk. What's the poinard of having daggers in your shank, stiletto and bodkin?
EatsRats t1_j7k1wd1 wrote
You don’t see the word “dirk” used often enough these days.
anal_opera t1_j7hxp30 wrote
If you're in Indiana you can have anything except a ballistic knife, throwing stars, or caltrops. Caltrops are basically bent throwing stars though, I've always assumed that's why they were illegal to begin with.
downwardspiralstairs t1_j7i87e2 wrote
I'm in Massachusetts but I can hop over to Rhode Island and buy any type of edged weapon, including a switchblade if I really wanted.
Dopey-NipNips t1_j7k1uuq wrote
Can buy a slingshot here though
cramduck t1_j7ifnco wrote
dagger?! I hardly know her!
downwardspiralstairs t1_j7igkcg wrote
daggerboard is another fun dagger word. You can read about them and a laser in this Wikipedia article
cramduck t1_j7isiic wrote
yeah, I have a couple of those myself. learned how to do fiberglass repair (albeit poorly) on the damn things, because I forgot to pull them out before we got back to the boat ramp :D
downwardspiralstairs t1_j7k1k9e wrote
I never got into lasers but my sister had one, I went right to 420's from a beatlecat
Salaried_Zebra t1_j7hr8x2 wrote
r/Whatcouldgowrong
Spinaccio t1_j7hwbux wrote
Coming soon…
SelectiveSanity t1_j7hzsg5 wrote
Yes.
ConnieLingus24 t1_j7iyod2 wrote
Welcome to Indiana.
HazMama t1_j7klrub wrote
Ask Butters
[deleted] t1_j7i2fyi wrote
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-Lumpy-Space-Prince- t1_j7ifqwz wrote
Remember that really old video of the dude with the big hair and nunchucks totally failing at doing a flip? That was pretty funny.
bigbangbilly t1_j7ita3i wrote
Wouldn't Martial arts schools count as a "well regulated militia" ?
MasonP2002 t1_j7n6wd6 wrote
Switchblades and balisongs are banned in half the country lol.
buddycheesus t1_j7hwryv wrote
But not that evil weed! No no no. Can’t have that. I guess God made a mistake!
Meanderingversion t1_j7i48fn wrote
Definitely not both, simultaneously. That's how we lost the Lawn Dart Wars.
pokey68 t1_j7j5tod wrote
Now they won’t have to drive to Michigan and Illinois to buy their ninja gear.
HopFarminScientist t1_j7i2kbr wrote
School shooting thwarted by tween ninja, more to come after this break…
turtle_eating t1_j7hqmul wrote
Women and children and mall ninjas attack!
Selloutkat1 t1_j7ie0gb wrote
Ahhhh focusing on the things that matter.
JerryKook t1_j7ik830 wrote
Thinking of the poor kids like Kenny who can't afford any other ninja weapons.
smurfsundermybed t1_j7i5v6d wrote
Up next: ERs overrun by injured men in XXXXL ninja costumes.
sfenders t1_j7i6bye wrote
My 12-year-old self would've thought this was great news.
InSanic13 t1_j7iyrx5 wrote
Still great for collectors or just people looking for a little backyard fun.
Zammin t1_j7jkl4o wrote
The only thing that can stop a Bad Ninja with a throwing star is a Good Ninja with a throwing star.
Mindful_Dribble t1_j7kckk8 wrote
Signed late Monday evening by Governor Dynamite
spasske t1_j7id8o4 wrote
We don’t have to just throw axes in Indiana now!
the_simurgh t1_j7ikgj3 wrote
they were illegal? shit i had like a dozen of them on my wall as decorations when i was staying with a friend years and years ago.
DiggyMcGriz t1_j7it6jb wrote
It's not illegal in the "our detectives are working around the clock to follow the paper trail to find out who is in possession of ninja stars" sense.
It's more like "this is one of those crimes the police can use to arrest you when they want to arrest you for SOMETHING but can't quite make what they want to arrest you for stick." Or if they are charging you with something else and want to tack on a few more bonus charges.
Chard069 t1_j7jce47 wrote
I envisage crooked Indiana cops keeping illegal ninja stars handy, to 'plant' on suspects. Safer than a throw-away firearm, hey?
1573594268 t1_j7n6dkm wrote
Eh, that's a stretch. They have plenty of Marijuana on hand to use already.
Hell, they don't even need to use up their personal stash.
"I smelled it" is all they need to violate the rights of minorities.
Phlegmbrandt OP t1_j7kbqq6 wrote
You better thank your stars you’re grandfathered in.
the_simurgh t1_j7mygfa wrote
i see what you did there lol.
shinobipopcorn t1_j7itay5 wrote
Nobody let Butters into Indiana
BMCarbaugh t1_j7jscc9 wrote
Now the escalation begins. Soon the cops will be wearing plate mail and demon masks. Then the criminals will begin exploring polearms. By this time next year, we'll have clans fighting in the streets, the skies echoing with the thundering rapport of battle-worn nodachi shattering against lacquered tedate.
TWSREDDIT t1_j7hw6b9 wrote
Ninja golf sounds fun
Shirlenator t1_j7icqs4 wrote
Is that like frisbee golf but replace the frisbees with ninja stars and replace the baskets with a person?
TheRockingDead t1_j7iudv5 wrote
It's not bad. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ninja_Golf
TWSREDDIT t1_j7myup1 wrote
necromundus t1_j7i666b wrote
Sounds to me like Indiana has been infiltrated by the Foot clan
TheRockingDead t1_j7iuibi wrote
All those Indiana Ninjas are doing celebratory backflips.
IonicRes t1_j7ilk5d wrote
Sick!!
PNW_Explorer_16 t1_j7j931w wrote
Every Kyle in that state is going nuts right now.
DamonFields t1_j7i1g5w wrote
Republicans love weapons. Love them to death.
metooeither t1_j7i55jj wrote
Jfc cant they get any real shit done?? Ffs! Bunch of children!
[deleted] t1_j7iiuxz wrote
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[deleted] t1_j7ikgkp wrote
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LAESanford t1_j7iveze wrote
“WhAt CoULd PoSsIbLy Go WrOnG?!?”
InSanic13 t1_j7iyygi wrote
Considering the availability of guns and all sorts of other, deadlier weapons, I don't really see a big issue.
Imaginary-Voice1902 t1_j7j1qot wrote
Couldn’t just repeal red flag laws?
1573594268 t1_j7n8s0i wrote
Red flag laws are fine.
They boil down to "If you have a verifiable history of violence then you should be monitored".
If someone says "I'm going to kill all the people I hate" then red flag laws allow for prevention of that person in obtaining efficient means to kill.
That's fine and to the benefit of the overall safety of society.
That individual still deserves mental Healthcare.
Quirky things like ninja stars aren't capable of the degree of harm that is discussed when talking about Red Flag laws. To my knowledge no mass murders have been committed by individuals utilizing shurikens.
They are unequivocal, and to equate red flag laws used to protect society from individuals in need of mental health assistance armed with modern weapons with individuals interested in historic weaponry for entertainment purposes is absurd.
I would easily argue that semiautomatic firearms should be banned before throwing stars despite believing both should be legal.
TLDR; Red Flag Laws help to prevent known threats to society from committing large scale harm. It's difficult at best to go on a murder spree with throwing knives.
Imaginary-Voice1902 t1_j7nf930 wrote
If someone states that they are going to kill people they are committing a crime. They don’t need a red flag law to address the situation and they keep people from buying guns in the sense that drug laws keep people from buying drugs. There are hundreds of millions of guns in the US. If red flag laws could keep prohibited people from obtaining firearms then we wouldn’t constantly see people arrested for having them illegally.
Red flag laws are easily circumvented by determined people and mass shooters are among the most determined.
Red flag laws deny due process standards. People are being deprived of rights simply on the basis that someone claims that someone else might misuse their rights. Can you imagine if the government simply determined that certain people couldn’t organize protests on the basis that they claim they might turn violent? Sorry people that want to hold police accountable. You are committing a felony if you organize a protest because the state decided your right to protest might be dangerous.
1573594268 t1_j7xpob0 wrote
Yeah, I think I mostly agree.
I'm not really trying to defend Red Flag laws so much as trying to point out how ridiculous the original banning of throwing stars was.
I mean, from my understanding it was basically anti-asian racism from the start.
If anything these types of regulations help to further abuse minorities, so I'm not really a fan of them.
Thanks for your reply. You've made several good points.
I don't want to take a defeatist attitude towards potential legislative solutions, but simultaneously must admit that I have yet to see any proposed solution that couldn't just as easily be used to strip away the rights of minorities.
Imaginary-Voice1902 t1_j7xwsth wrote
I think that is a really good point too. These laws often don’t come with a right to legal council because they occur in civil courts. Who exactly do people think will be harmed as a result of depriving someone of an appointed attorney? People of low socioeconomic status of course. Ultimately we had ways to deprive truly dangerous people of their lawful ability to purchase firearms through a court with real due process standards but some people decided they needed an express lane with no real due process. Red flag laws are just not a good solution unless the goal is to just enable swatting.
1573594268 t1_j82tuh3 wrote
This conversation has provided me with an opportunity for personal introspection for which I'm grateful.
When I wrote my original comment a day or two ago I had very recently read a news article. Nothing rare - someone was shot and killed.
The shooter had a history of violence. There was talk about how if existing Red Flag laws had been followed this individual would not have had access to the firearm used in the murder.
At the time that did make sense to me - after all, if it's known this individual may be a threat to others - a specific, known threat with a history of violence towards who would eventually become the victim in this case ...
Doesn't a law preventing that individual from purchasing a firearm make sense?
That was my original line of thinking. And, in fact, I don't think it's illogical.
However, the Red Flag laws that applied weren't followed. This individual did obtain a firearm.
So does that imply this tragedy wouldn't have occurred had the laws been followed?
I don't believe so. I think, considering this individuals history of violence towards the victim the tragedy would have occurred regardless of how little effort was necessary for them to obtain an efficient weapon.
No, what needed to happen from the start should've been a proactive approach to addressing the mental health issues related to the shooter.
Preventative maintenance, so to speak.
The Red Flag Laws in place were ineffective not only because they weren't utilized (which was my original, surface level take) but because they're reactive.
Furthermore, as you've mentioned, they are far too easily open to abuse.
In this specific case Red Flag Laws could have prevented someone with a known history of violence from arming themselves against their future victim, but no one even bothered enacting them.
I am willing to bet that if the perpetrator had been a minority that these same laws would've been enforced heavily.
MrFartyBottom t1_j7ja1rg wrote
It's all fun and games until somebody loses and eye.
blacknyourma t1_j7jbyd4 wrote
Doing important work over there...
Chard069 t1_j7jcket wrote
"What weapon, officer? I just like to spread peanut butter on multiple slices of bread together. Saves lots of time."
phillysan t1_j7jeqs6 wrote
Finally I can hone my shuriken-no-jutsu without legal repurcussions!
deckjuice t1_j7jg2ak wrote
About time
sleepinginthebushes_ t1_j7jgyde wrote
I am proud to announce my endorsement of the Ninja Caucus
mikeoxwells2 t1_j7jmwvg wrote
Permitless carry sailed through the statehouse, and now they’re going to require ninjas to have safety gear?
dickflip1980 t1_j7jpni1 wrote
Oh good!
start3ch t1_j7jqax0 wrote
Not the hero we need, but the hero we deserve
Tdabp t1_j7jr6er wrote
"6 year old pretending to be ninja accidentally kills grandma"
littlest_dragon t1_j7jtxbu wrote
The only thing that can stop a bad ninja with a throwing star is a good ninja with a throwing star?
OneFriendship5139 t1_j7jyghb wrote
When Indiana’s crime rate goes down, you can thank me
aquasoft t1_j7k1k7u wrote
Americaa Fuck Yeaaah
Achelso t1_j7k3m9e wrote
Really important legislation.
Acianah t1_j7k3tx5 wrote
Fuckin finally!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ehmiu t1_j7k5mpq wrote
Welcome to the 21st Century, Indiana?
ProfessionalAd6128 t1_j7k6vlt wrote
The Hoosiers I know ain’t packin ninja stars!!!
Ultraferret107 t1_j7k8k59 wrote
My weeb ass partner is gonna cream
maybe_Lena t1_j7km25n wrote
Big day for Indiana mall ninjas
BerserkingRhino t1_j7kmjxk wrote
The people we vote for burn the midnight oil to give billionaires more money before they fire more people the next day.
But this new legislation is pretty exciting guys!!
Medicare for all? Free college? Public rail systems?
No
What then?!
Nina stars are now legal.
Okay, we'll take that instead.
'Murca!
PefferPack t1_j7kocbt wrote
My generation has come to power.
[deleted] t1_j7koo7m wrote
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Inconceivable-2020 t1_j7lsmbw wrote
Red State priorities on display.
[deleted] t1_j7lx9vu wrote
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circleuranus t1_j7mq70b wrote
'Bout damn time. Everybody knows that the only thing that stops a Bad 15th Century Ninja with a Shuriken is a Good 15th Century Ninja with a Shuriken.
MickeyJ3 t1_j7ht9q8 wrote
“Indiana man seeks reparations after being struck several times by his own throwing stars during robbery. More at 11.”