My name is Axel and I work as a barista at a café placed on a highway that gets little traffic. Somehow we still do enough business to stay open despite our exclusively late hours, but our revenue rarely comes from a normal person. Does that sound odd to you? It should. Over the past few months that I have worked at The Drowsy Spectre, I've served things that have no right existing in the real world. Sometimes they haunt my sleep, but there is nothing to be done about it. We all have to make a living, right? Sure, there are much better ways to do that, but I feel like anything else would be boring at this point.

For a while, I was the new guy. I would say I am thankful that I no longer bear that title, but shedding it came at a great cost; to hire someone new, there had to be a spot to fill. We lost someone two weeks ago. She worked in the kitchen mostly, but something had been wearing her skin for quite some time. I have to admit, the imitation was pretty great. You'd need some context to understand, so just trust me, but I don't think the thing that wore her skin killed her. That is still a puzzle we are unraveling.

Here I am, rambling. Anyway, we hired someone new. Her name is Penny and so far she has been getting along better than even I did. It was fun to see her surprised and terrified reactions to our regulars, I likely gave the very same gasps during my first day.

Why is any of this relevant to you? Because I was tasked with training her. That seemed like a bad idea, considering that another employee hired around my first days died under my watch. We have a high turnover rate, so that wasn't much of a surprise, but it still weighs on me. I guess I have a lot more experience now.

I am happy to say that things have calmed down since my first few weeks. That is to Penny's benefit, honestly, because if she was hired during the thick of last month's insanity she may have just quit. I am surprised she didn't at the sight of a shambling zombie, or the walking squishmallow that couldn't speak. It just kind of bounced there, waiting. She gave it a muffin and it seemed content, but it didn't pay for it!

To be fair, I am not sure that squishmallow currency would be any good regardless.

There are a few rules that everyone needs to know and they seem to be growing each month I am here. I'll give you them so you understand her training a bit better;

1. Don't open the drive thru window unless there is a customer inside a car (I wrote a little note there, "Don't talk to Tall Ben!")
2. Make Heartmin's order in under two minutes, otherwise hide in the freezer (Another little note by me, explaining how deafening her scream is)
3. Don't open the back door for anyone unless you hear five knocks.
4. Tom will try to take pictures of the female staff. Don't let him (We actually killed Tom, long story)
5. Always answer Amber's questions but do not buy candles from Amber. You will be fired on the spot and offered no help.
6. Do not sell caffeine to reptiles (I added that one, accidently killed a customer doing that).
7. If Selene's office light turns off, turn it back on fast!
8. Do not use DeGuire's first name, if you know it.
9. We do not have heavy whipping cream!
10. If a golden eye speaks sweetly to you, tell a manager!

"What's rule nine all about?"

That was the last question I expected. "W-we don't have heavy cream. It is pretty straight forward."

"Yeah but it doesn't seem to match with the rest of them." Penny shook her head. "Breaking some of the others seems dangerous. Not having something doesn't really seem like a rule..."

I laughed. "Tell that to Em."

Not all of our employee base is human. Em is a pixie, but she is sort of a changeling I guess. Honestly she hasn't been super helpful at explaining that one, but I know she took a giant potion to continue appearing human. Unfortunately that giant potion still made her a bit short by human standards. She was sweet, though, and extremely defensive over the long-time employees at the Drowsy Spectre. She tried to turn me into an animal to keep as a pet once; it took a bit of work, but we are friends now.

"If we tell a customer we have it, then we have to back track, it can get dangerous." Barrow explained. "Depending on the customer, it can be the most important rule."

Barrow. I still don't know much about that guy. He was human, but isn't really anymore. Barrow doesn't feel emotions, no matter how hard he tries. He had a doll that granted wishes, but it would backfire every time. Then it would torture him until he made a new wish. Long story, but that doll is mine now. I'll get to that later.

"A cat walked up to the counter on its hind legs and asked for it and I said yes. When I had to go back and apologize, his eyes turn green and he attacked me! I was like, 'mister, that is not allow!' and splashed him with some water."

"You splashed a demon cat with water? That worked?"

Em nodded with a grin. "Cats don't like being splashed, not even a wampus."

"Wampus?" I never heard that term before.

"Well, yeah. It was a wampus cat, I am pretty sure."

I'd have to look that up later. "Huh."

Anyway, with that list of ten rules, Penny survived her first night. There are more situational rules aside from the main list, but there aren't specifics you can follow. It is sort of a 'learn on the job' kind of thing. Sometimes that ends up killing you, but I think I was clear enough to Penny that being a barista at The Drowsy Spectre has little perks and huge risks. Apparently she views the supernatural experience as enough of a benefit to outweigh the extreme risk of bodily harm (or death). We are all kind of idiots around here, I guess.

Selene, our manager, is the only one with a key besides the owner. I usually show up to the shop either before her or just as she arrives. The shop opens at 5:00 pm sharp, so we get there shortly before. Selene has a very specific order of doing things, almost a ritual.

This time, however, I ended up being a little early. That happened sometimes depending on what time I woke up. There is a dirt road that leads behind the shop and there is an apartment complex back there. That is where I live, as of roughly two months ago. Really convenient to get to work, extremely quiet, and paid for by the store's owner. Why? I am still not sure. He owns plenty of locations that don't serve supernatural customers, so maybe he just makes enough money?

I'm getting sidetracked again. I pulled in early and parked my car. Despite being one of two people in the parking lot, I was the first employee to arrive. The yellow, beaten hatchback that was parked in the middle of our lot belonged to Amber. She sells candles outside our drive thru, as well as a stand inside the shop, that no one is supposed to buy. I still don't know what happens if we do, other than we get fired. When I got out of my car, she was standing idle next to her vehicle, waiting for me. I wasn't sure why I came in early, I just sort of felt like it, but when I saw her staring expectantly at my car when I drove in made me a little nervous.

"Hey Axel!" I felt a tingle up my spine whenever she said my name, a shiver that made my hairs stick up. At first glance, she was a pretty girl with a lovely voice. I knew more, though. "I was hoping you'd show up early!" Amber opened her car's trunk. "Is today the day?"

"I am afraid not." I was polite, who knows what something like her was capable of. "I won't be buying a candle today."

"Oh, come on! They are nice, I promise! Is Selene still bullying you guys about my candles?"

I sighed. This was not a new conversation. "You know why we don't."

"But one of you will break one day, I know it. Just like that one boy." She grabbed her box of candles and wax, then winked at me. "I bet it will be you."

She was referring to DeGuire. He used to work with us, but he bought a candle and... well, it is a long story. Like I said, we have a high turnover rate.

Amber went about her business setting up her candles while I waited by the door for everyone else to arrive. Selene showed up, then Barrow and Em carpooled. Penny showed up last but with a few minutes to spare. We got our day started and things went as usual. Well, as usual as a café that serves denizens of the night can get.

Now before I get to the meat of this tale, you need to know a bit about Tall Ben, the giant at the drive thru window. He has been a plague on the Drowsy Spectre for as long as any of us can remember. Even Selene recalls his presence from the very beginning and she started when the store opened. His M.O. is quite simple; he will try to lure anyone that works at the café to go outside. This can be through the drive thru, back door, front door. Usually he does this so casually that he gets in your head and tricks you. All it takes is one hand out the window for him to snatch you up.

We had an employee that was only here a day or two, his name was Keith. I was talking to Tall Ben because he knew something I needed to know, but when I turned away for only a second, he had managed to lure Keith out the window.

Days later, Tall Ben returned with a gallon of crimson-white liquid. He called it 'alternative milk' and tried to get us to sell it.

Obviously you can see why he is such a danger. The thing is, we hadn't seen him for quite some time. There was an encounter we had with him where he got injured and I think that put him off for a while, but Tall Ben came back eventually. He gets bored and needs a new victim to play with. So, when it was slow and we were all hanging out around the drive thru exchanging stories and talking about the new Last of Us show, we were all surprised to see a large face in the drive thru window.

Most of all Penny, who jumped when she screamed; she'd been standing right next to it.

Tall Ben waved, a friendly and gentle smile on his face. He gestured at the latch for the window, but Barrow moved Penny away from it and put himself in the way. "Axel, what did we talk about?"

I had a bad habit of talking to the giant. "Yeah, I know."

"We don't talk to Tall Ben. It is incredibly stupid to do so."

'He's back?!" Selene shouted from the other side of the counter. "Hook, don't let Little Bird talk to him!"

So Selene, for reasons I still don't know, never uses anyone's real name. Em is 'The Pixie,' I’m 'Little Bird,' Barrow 'Hook,' and Penny has adopted the title of 'New Girl.'

"Already on it."

Selene stared hard at me. "We all just survived one of the worst weeks we've had. Don't go doing anything incredibly dumb."

"I didn't plan on it, guys." It was a bit annoying, I won't lie. There was a very good reason for me to talk to the giant before. "I don't fall for his tricks anyway." They laughed at me. If Barrow was capable, I am certain he would have as well! "Honestly!"

"He's nearly gotten you to climb out here multiple times." Barrow turned to Penny. "He could trick any of us. Don't entertain him, don't even look at him." Immediately she glanced Tall Ben's way and got another wave. "Just... try not to look at him."

That was very hard, his face took up the entire window. Impressively, she did a good job of ignoring him and that only irritated the giant. Usually new hires were the easiest to trick, but she paid him so little mind that he never had the chance.

--------------------------------------

So now that you know all of that, you'll have a better understanding of what this post is all about. There are, however, two more things you need to know. First, this isn't my first post. I've done a bit of writing during my first few weeks at the café. Second, I described my area with fake names in hopes that it would not be identified.

People have skills that I will never understand however and, despite my lackluster popularity, a group of you guys showed up. I'll give it to them, they were well equipped for a road trip. When they stepped in the doors, it was all pictures and videos. Selene hated stuff like that. They were quite rude to our... abnormal guests, too, as if the unnatural was a spectacle for them to capture. Somehow, they did not get themselves killed right away.

"Are you the reddit guy?" They were young, around my age, and entirely too excited.

I glanced at Em and Barrow. "Yeah. That's me."

"We really debated this stop. Lots of bigger ones, you know. We are sort of amateur hunters, if you will. Finding these places is a lot like... geocaching. Really satisfying when we actually land somewhere. Fortunately you didn't do a great job hiding it."

Thanks for that. "Well can I get you anything while you are here?"

"Oh my god, are you the girl that turns people into pets?!" One of the younger girls was interrogating Em. "That is so evil! Should they even let you work in a place like this, with real people?! Are there more of you out in the world? Do you all do this?"

Em's eyes were wide; she didn't do well with this kind of pressure and it was all my fault, really. "Please, guys. Leave her alone."

"Oh! Oh! What about the doll?" The first guy asked. I think they were a couple. The group totalled about six people, but only the two were so damn annoying. "You still have it, right?!"

"No, I don't." I gulped. I definitely did and I was cursing myself for posting that I managed to keep it. Barrow was not supposed to know. I leaned forward and lowered my voice. "I don't have it, remember?"

"Sure, sure." He grinned. "Guys, look!" His shout drew their attention, even pulling the girl from berating Em. "It's him!"

They weren't talking about me, Em, Barrow, Penny, or Selene. No, they were pointing at the drive thru window that was visible from the front counter. Now I've never had a customer interact with Tall Ben, I thought he only cared about employees. I think that is usually how it works, but when they waved at him and tried to get a picture, they may have changed the rules for themselves.

The girl laughed, absolutely beaming. "We are driving to all the creepy story spots to see if they are real. Most of them are super exciting, I thought it would suck here. That one gas station guy was super rude. We make you who you are! If it weren't for your readers, your stories wouldn't get anywhere!"

I mean, that was true, but that didn't give anyone the right to invade our space like this.

"Hey, so Tall Ben only turns employees into milk, right?" That is what the giant called his product. "We can probably go talk to him?"

That seemed incredibly stupid. "I wouldn't do that."

"But he only attacks employees I thought."

One of the quiet in the group finally spoke up. "Yeah, you did say that. Guys let's just get going. I want to see the hotel."

"The hotel is like two days away. Relax, we have plenty of time to make the trip." The first guy replied.

"Not if you guys get us killed."

That was true. "I think it would be best to leave Tall Ben alone. You guys know what happens to people who don't."

"Oh, like Keith! That was crazy. You probably could have saved him, you know." That hurt. A lot. I didn't really have anything to say to it. She turned to her friends. "Look, we can just talk to him from the door."

Again, a terrible idea. The front door was the only exit. If he latched on to them or for some reason wanted to lure them out then they wouldn't be able to use that exit until we closed! "And how will you leave if you do that?"

They weren't listening to me, though. Even when I spoke a bit louder, they ignored me and hurried to the door. I am supposed to believe they had stopped at multiple other haunted places and didn't get themselves killed? Maybe their party was larger to begin with, I don't know, but it is harder to believe than this shop existing in the first place.

"Hey, Ben!" The guy called. "Hey, you want some meat? Come over here, man!"

The front of our building has a slight overhang to block rain. Our front wall is a larger window, so I could clearly see Tall Ben approach the door and lean down towards them. The thing about Tall Ben is that he can't enter closed spaces as his form changes to the size of the outside building; it would be a paradox for him to enter a place. So, technically they could step outside so long as they did not exit the overhang. I'd never written about that, though.

"Hey, don't do that!" Barrow shouted at them. "These are your nuts, go stop them!"

"Watch the drive thru." I asked as I hurried towards the front door. One of them was drunk, I don't remember who, and he was sticking his hand out and rapidly back in as if to mess with Tall Ben. "Don't do that!"

"He isn't even doing anything. We aren't employees, he doesn't attack customers." The girl chidded me. "It is your story, you should know that."

"We don't know everything about him! Don't go outside!"

"Look, he isn't grabbing Daniel." Again, she laughed. "Watch."

Before I could stop her, she stepped outside. Nothing happened at first, Tall Ben simply loomed from the corner of the store, staring under the overhang in the hope that someone would step out. The girl was that someone.

She turned around, her friend holding open the door. "See? He doesn't care. We are perfectly safe."

"This place is kinda boring, honestly. Weird, but boring." One of the others said.

"Yeah, it is late. We should get driving." The first guy, who seemed to be the leader of sorts, agreed. "Let's go."

"Don't go outside!" I tried again, then hurried for the door. It clicked shut and while I was pretty certain the overhang was safe, I wasn't risking anything. Besides, I would not have been quick enough to stop the girl from stepping out into the rain.

But nothing happened. She entered the parking lot without injury. Her friend did after her, then the rest followed.

Oh god.

I ripped open the door, putting aside fear for my safety. "STOP!"

It was too late.

Tall Ben snatched up the straggler first, taking out the last in line. His hands were huge, so he had no problem grabbing another one of them. The first girl screeched and hurried to her car and, to her credit, she did make it. I think three of them did.

He waited for them to go outside. He was smarter.

Against Barrow's advice, I stepped outside.

"You brought me more meat." Ben grinned. "I knew we were friends."

"Let them go!" That was useless, he wouldn't. I could see the guy in his right hand was struggling to breathe. "Just let them go!"

"Throwing away gifts is rude, man." He squeezed his right hand over and over, causing his victim to vomit all over the parking lot. That scream... I knew that scream. Keith screamed like that. They all wailed, but I could hear the giant over their terror. "But I don't want to be greedy. Here."

What happened next... I can't take responsibility. I told them not to go outside! I told all of you the rules! Yeah, Keith was probably my fault, but not this! Dammit, I don't even know their names!

That's a lie. I knew one name, Daniel. The girl had said it and I am pretty sure he was the one in Tall Ben's right hand. He... he squashed him like a balloon. Crushed rib cage, ruptured lungs, popped heart. He was legs and a head when Tall Ben tossed him over, splashing in the rain with a wet thud. Blood on my paints mixed with muddy water. I honestly don't know if the crimson dots on my shirt are from the drive thru’s red sharpies or blood!

"Take it as a... sample of a product I am working on." Tall Ben waved with his stained free hand. He gave enough pressure to shut up the two in his left. "I won't keep you waiting, friend. Thanks."

With that, he sped off into the night.

I stood there, sprinkled by the rain that wind brought under the overhang. I still wasn't used to death and I hope I never am, but what is anyone supposed to do with a mangled corpse at their feet?

Daniel, he moved. Oh christ, oh god, he moved. An eye twitched, he groaned something with barely functioning lungs, then went still.

"Ya'll have samples out here now?"

I looked up to see a skeleton in a classy business suit, complete with a fedora on his head. Now, you will judge me for this, but I could not take responsibility for what happened to Daniel. The way I saw it and see it, I had nothing to do with them living or dead. The others had already peeled away, leaving their friends behind. I wasn't about to transport a corpse.

"Yeah. Help yourself I guess."

When I went back inside, I found everyone there waiting for me behind the counter. They hadn't come to help or even check on me. Fair, considering Tall Ben might have squashed them like the others, but still. "No help?"

"I'm not going out there." Em shook her head. "I think it was pretty stupid that you did."

Fair.

"Did you save them?" Penny asked.

I then realized that it was entirely possible she had never seen death, at least not so brutaly. "How much did you see?"

"It is raining pretty hard, we couldn't see much at all."

I glanced back at the front door, noting that the corpse and the skeleton eating it weren't very clear in the dark storm. "Well... stay away from the front for now." I needed to use the bathroom after all of that. "And no, I didn't."

--------------------------------------

So, yeah, don't come looking for The Drowsy Spectre. The people who end up here are either not human or stumble into our café by accident. Don't be the next base for Tall Ben's alternative milk, don't be a moron. And, if you happen to find yourself at The Drowsy Spectre, you know the rules. Don't talk to Tall Ben.

If you still don't believe me, go here and read more. There are some older posts on here that will tell you more about why coming to my neck of the woods is a bad idea. Get starbucks, or something.

And, for the love of god, stop pestering us. We aren't landmarks, and you aren’t tourists. You are suicidal. Go skydiving instead or something.