Submitted by DysonDragon11 t3_10wd30u in news
Comments
sanash t1_j7meur5 wrote
Haha and he did it on TV too: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ILqnYx7XnwQ&ab_channel=PublicApologyCentral
I'm sorry your birdshot got in front of my face!
tuxedo_jack t1_j7mwh8p wrote
Jon Stewart and the Daily Show ripped them a new one in an amazing segment called "Dead-Eye Dick."
I miss him.
bigbrothersrule t1_j7nqdks wrote
“Jon we didn’t bother writing any jokes tonight because the Vice President of the United States shot his friend in the face because he thought he was a bird.”
DortDrueben t1_j7nserp wrote
I remember where I was the day this happened. I was saying for the rest of the day that I couldn't wait for tonight's Daily Show/Colbert. Can't recall if it was that night or another where they discussed the details of the staged hunt. "Yes, Jon but traveling with all the security, doctors, cardiologist, that black ball Darth Vader sleeps in..."
sulaymanf t1_j7o78wt wrote
That’s the second part, here was the opening segment.
ReflexImprov t1_j7oiuqk wrote
> I miss him.
His AppleTV show, The Problem With Jon Stewart is pretty good. Makes them less often, but digs much deeper into a single subject.
majinspy t1_j7r6zud wrote
I find it to be grating. He seems frustrated that we haven't solved all of our problems despite the fact that that he's satirized them so skillfully. He comes across as an aging crank who is more than a little bitter.
PenguinSunday t1_j7r8box wrote
Have you seen his fight for veterans' and 911 first responders' healthcare? With the way the government has chewed him up and spit him(and all veterans) out, I'd be bitter too.
majinspy t1_j7rfvdt wrote
That's fair enough. Maybe he needs a break. Maybe he needs to visit the things that are getting better. It's easy to allow oneself to be overwhelmed by all the negative.
lavalampmaster t1_j7u9xt5 wrote
That's why he retired from The Daily Show in the first place
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CoalCrackerKid t1_j7mfizr wrote
"Apologize or you get the other barrel..."
bayesian13 t1_j7sgs47 wrote
Reidroshdy t1_j7o7kvf wrote
Don't expect me to apologize for getting in the way of your gun.
I'd be acting like Ron Swanson did when Tom shot him in the head with the buckshot on the hunting trip the Parks crew all did.
thegreatestajax t1_j7o7wnx wrote
Why? He 100% violated firearm safety rules.
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CinSugarBearShakers t1_j7mqwg3 wrote
Just peppered him.
fermat9997 t1_j7nyjsp wrote
I'm sure he was "spoken to" before he made that embarrassing apology. Cheney is some piece of work
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AudibleNod t1_j7mecwu wrote
I'll never get over the fact that Harry Whittington publicly apologized to Dick Cheney for getting shot in the face by Cheney.
Also, I've brought it up before on Reddit. But we've heard from Clinton, Bush and Obama about not having classified documents. We haven't heard from Cheney if he did a sweep. And the last mention of "classified documents" and "Cheney" was a story where he said his office would not comply with an executive order regarding them.
Free-Scar5060 t1_j7mh6n4 wrote
Cheney is one of the handful of people who probably gets a yessir whenever he says no to a lawful request or order.
BBTB2 t1_j7mm2hq wrote
Cheney was / still is probably one of the most powerful motherfuckers to ever come through our politics, most definitely the most powerful VP (at time of vice presidency).
SuicydKing t1_j7p1fcw wrote
Bush Sr, former CIA director and Nixon crony. He was assigned as Reagan's handler. Got a lot of cover from Bill Barr for Cold War shenanigans. Probably did all of the stuff that Reagan 'could not recall'.
Liet-Kinda t1_j7pauzn wrote
Whenever I hear people talk about those dignified, kindly statesmen the Republicans used to be, this is what I think about.
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scottieducati t1_j7pjv5t wrote
He should be in The Hague.
IAlreadyFappedToIt t1_j7mobz4 wrote
You know that South African diplomat in that Lethal Weapon movie who says, "diplomatic immunity?" I hear his voice, but it's Cheney yelling, "Unitary Executive!"
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PyrrhoTheSkeptic t1_j7mues5 wrote
>I'll never get over the fact that Harry Whittington publicly apologized to Dick Cheney for getting shot in the face by Cheney.
His other option was for Cheney to finish the job. So he decided to apologize instead.
Now_Wait-4-Last_Year t1_j7p0a80 wrote
Didn't seem to work in the end, though did it?
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aLittleQueer t1_j7ognky wrote
All I know is: when you shoot someone in the face and then they apologize to you...that's gangster-as-fuck.
Acovobs t1_j7o50c9 wrote
Gave them all to his daughter
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shewy92 t1_j7pn8k8 wrote
Did we hear from Al Gore? Otherwise why mention Cheney?
AudibleNod t1_j7ppddc wrote
Because Cheney would not comply with an order while in office. And the post of about Cheney's infamous victim.
But I did look it up:
>Quayle confirmed to CNN that everything was turned over to the Archives, and sources familiar with the records of Cheney said he also turned everything over when he left the White House. A spokesperson for Gore said he and his staff turned everything over when leaving the White House and no classified material has been discovered since.
pegothejerk t1_j7mduf8 wrote
Cheney expected to attend funeral so Whittington an apologize one last time.
roo-ster t1_j7mjxmx wrote
No funeral. Whittington is to be mounted on the wall of Cheney's trophy room.
Coulrophiliac444 t1_j7neosp wrote
"The one who thought he got away"
Vernerator t1_j7mer6n wrote
I’m sorry for dying and making you come to my funeral, Dick.
stonerdadhat t1_j7me12a wrote
Perhaps now poor Dick can finally have some closure.
themeatbridge t1_j7micvn wrote
You say that like it wasn't Dick who went back and finished the job.
DonNatalie t1_j7o1w2e wrote
Man just wanted his buckshot back.
vsaint t1_j7prx9t wrote
If they were using buckshot this article wouldn’t exist
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macweirdo42 t1_j7ozsl1 wrote
Wants to confirm the kill.
Githzerai1984 t1_j7uzhcb wrote
Never too late to double tap
Bigwing2 t1_j7mikjf wrote
Cheney is one soulless SOB.
rikki-tikki-deadly t1_j7mm96b wrote
He really is. He's basically the closest thing the United States has to a Darth Vader, except for the potential redemption arc.
PEVEI t1_j7mmx3y wrote
Henry Kissinger rises from his crypt
"Amateur."
raevnos t1_j7mtdqv wrote
Kissinger is still alive!
But he probably sleeps in a coffin like the vampire he is.
Liet-Kinda t1_j7pb4lp wrote
I do not wish for any man’s death, but I would read a news article about Henry Kissinger getting set on fire with great relish
Not_a_Wizardd t1_j7msyys wrote
Crypt? May be a joke about him being a soulless ghoul, but he is somehow still walking the Earth.
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jwhaler17 t1_j7nziqm wrote
And that he wasn’t in it albeit alive
tracerhaha t1_j7ngae0 wrote
Kissinger is a lich not a ghoul.
Hollow_Rant t1_j7mo0zc wrote
Somehow, Kissinger's policies are back...
Copeshit t1_j7mtodd wrote
> He's basically the closest thing the United States has to a Darth Vader
Redditors try not to compare politics to Star Wars and superhero movies for children [impossible challenge]
Asyncrosaurus t1_j7nfjzm wrote
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Its not just reddit, it's all political discourse on the internet.
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You forgot to include Harry potter.
Copeshit t1_j7nu9wo wrote
> Its not just reddit, it's all political discourse on the internet.
It's overwhelmingly prevalent on reddit though, the "X is literally Palpatine/Voldemort" meme has been associated with the redditor stereotype since like 2018.
> You forgot to include Harry potter.
Redditors have quieted down on the Harry Potter references recently, for reasons related to JK Rowling that you probably already know about.
strahag t1_j7oce44 wrote
Star Wars is filled with political commentary. Though not the Darth Vader parts lol
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ironroad18 t1_j7o7lpj wrote
The fact that Cheney has spoken out repeatedly against Trump is scary.
"I might have started a war for oil profits, but this mother fucker is a NEW type of evil."
rikki-tikki-deadly t1_j7oae57 wrote
I don't think Cheney sees Trump as evil - and I doubt he'd care if he did. He probably sees them as incompetent clowns who are fucking up his vision of a permanent (white male) American hegemony, which is why he has such disdain for them.
dhuntergeo t1_j7myn63 wrote
Plot twist: his daughter is the redemption arc
Now_Wait-4-Last_Year t1_j7p1adh wrote
No, she's also awful. Just slightly less so than those more awful people.
Unless of course the plot twist is that redemption arc is also awful (and not what we'd think is something that passes for redemption).
dhuntergeo t1_j7poet8 wrote
Yeah, she is, except for apparently believing in democracy
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Canadian_Commentator t1_j7n49cb wrote
redemption arc? did he announce he'd bury himself alive?
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jetbag513 t1_j7n9mbv wrote
Pair him up with Skeletor (Rick) Scott and they are quite the pair.
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justforthearticles20 t1_j7mym9f wrote
Ron DeSatan enters the chat
kingoflint282 t1_j7ncf68 wrote
He’s the Emperor
BBTB2 t1_j7mmsjn wrote
I have a weird respect for him - he’s a self preservationist and is only in support of his own agenda of self-enrichment (maybe family as well), he also doesn’t try to fake it or hide it.
Use_this_1 t1_j7mop8q wrote
At least he wasn't a whiny little bitch like TFG. He made people cry, he did cry about people being mean to him. I'm pretty sure our hate fuels him.
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VyrPlan t1_j7mqgbj wrote
yeah, ideologically and as a human being i despise him (he was - at least before the current era of republican slapstick - a picture of everything wrong with american politics) but he was not a phony
it's funny to me that as overtly uncaring and self-serving as he was, he'd surely be considered a flower-child by today's conservative standards
and even though he'll likely get his prostate checked with a fireplace poker for all eternity, i do have a soft spot for mean old fuckers who just wont die
Tulol t1_j7oq6uf wrote
Is this soft spot ur anus?
westdl t1_j7n8xbp wrote
And yet in the current era, he’s not the worst of them. Who in 2006 would have ever guessed?
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sistahmaryelefante t1_j7nbor4 wrote
Completely disassociated from humanity yet still considers himself human
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amboomernotkaren t1_j7moxgk wrote
There was a good article years ago in the Washington Post Magazine about the incident. Despite much reporting about the two men being “friends” they had only met each other about two times prior to the shooting.
evoneli t1_j7mipts wrote
Hate to be remembered as the guy who Dick shot in the *face
Count-Bulky t1_j7nn6yh wrote
This is the takeaway
LimitedSwimmer t1_j7ml8l7 wrote
That's a blast from the past.
InflamedLiver t1_j7mg5qn wrote
Guess Cheney finally got around to finishing the job
agoodfriendofyours t1_j7movud wrote
Charge 👏him 👏for 👏murder 👏
Count-Bulky t1_j7nni7p wrote
Honestly, at that point even natural causes count as complications from being shot in the face
Icewear_Daddy t1_j7ml95a wrote
Cheney is a gangster and shot Harry in the face on purpose.
westwardnomad t1_j7o67n8 wrote
You know he took the last chicken wing at lunch and Cheney's fat ass was having none of that!
rikki-tikki-deadly t1_j7mmc0n wrote
"Hey, it wasn't on purpose! I was drunk, that's all."
Drak_is_Right t1_j7myh4l wrote
The techniques used to hunt a lot of birds makes friendly fire incidents more likely.
I am curious who was really at fault.
A light peppering from a distance of bird shot falling on you is the usual incident. Shot to the face, much more unlikely.
Someone out of position can easily get shot if people fire at motion....or accidentally shoot someone else.
CSI_Tech_Dept t1_j7n4pv0 wrote
I know very little about the incident, but to me since he apologized it means one of those three things:
- he is just a extremely humble person
- Chaney could f--- him up and he is just scared
- he stood in wrong place or did something that was told not to do during training
Either could be possible (and could be even combination of all of them), but the last one seems like it is the most likely.
Asyncrosaurus t1_j7ng6dl wrote
From every thing I read about the story, the last one is correct. Although from the insipid memes, you might be tricked into thinking Cheney just decided to shoot a guy one day because he's evil.*
*which he is, but not because of this.
blargler t1_j7q5fpi wrote
They were also probably drunk, but bottom line cheney pointed the gun at another person and pulled the trigger that's on him.
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spreta t1_j7oq57o wrote
I haven’t hunted in a minute but one thing I remember is you don’t just fire at movement lol you always get a positive ID before shooting, lest the game warden pop you for killing something out of season or something you don’t have a tag for, or because it could be a FUCKING PERSON
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egyeager t1_j7pqytf wrote
Chaney was very likely mixing his medications with Alcohol
Bongwaffle t1_j7q7s1u wrote
Allegedly Cheney was drunk when this all took place. I guess when the van these two were in pulled up to the shooting spot, beer cans spilled out onto the ground when the Secret Service opened the door. After the incident they had to hide Dick until he sobered up enough to speak to anyone.
Tricky-Engineering59 t1_j7ozfan wrote
Can you imagine this being your epitaph? Even almost 20 years later the most notable thing about you is that you got shot in the face and publicly apologized for doing so? You think someone is going to weave it into his eulogy? Please let that someone be Dick Cheney
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bsbeatty t1_j7ob6yo wrote
Cheney is like “why did I just get exp?”
huberific t1_j7mhit9 wrote
Another trophy on the Cheney’s sitting room
birdsofpaper t1_j7mmumw wrote
Damn did he go hunting with Cheney again?
letdogsvote t1_j7mjoyb wrote
Turns out Cheney came back and shot him again.
Northman67 t1_j7pccma wrote
That was really rude of him to get shot in the face by Cheney. Does he know how much trouble he created for the vice president? At least he adequately apologized. /S
Coulrophiliac444 t1_j7nefwp wrote
"The man who made the Republican Party the driving force in Texas it is today."
Sad to see someone dead, and much sympathy to his loved ones, but he did a lot of damage getting Texas so firmly under Republican thumbs that we will be dealing with for generations.
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jennafreemon t1_j7nqswk wrote
Took 17 years but he finally got the bastard.
Blissboyz t1_j7oc1pc wrote
So it took 17 years for the guy to die from the bullet wounds?!?!
shewy92 t1_j7pn51i wrote
>the attorney was long known for helping build the Republican Party in Texas into the dominant political force it is today
So we have him to thank for Abbott and Cruz?
Fryceratops t1_j7mn6ac wrote
Cheney finished him off this time
dick_shawn_fan t1_j7mxj18 wrote
Just two good ole boys out huntin' with women that weren't their wives and NO alcohol was around anywhere, according to the official account.
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BigCountry1182 t1_j7n11n4 wrote
You get peppered by birdshot. Buckshot obliterates
Ru-Ling t1_j7n6c5u wrote
“Finally!” - Dick Cheney, probably.
Acceptable-Book t1_j7nau56 wrote
He had a lovely head of hair for a man his age.
Entertainer-Old t1_j7npywh wrote
I never really got the full story on this, but I do remember thinking there was more to the story, like maybe they were drunk or something? It’s been a while.
Squeegee t1_j7o1prw wrote
May his face rest in pieces. ✝️
stormcloudless t1_j7o1vcu wrote
Cheney is the closest thing the US has to Putin
0x1e t1_j7oa0uo wrote
The Cheney curse is real!
CatsLikeCuddles t1_j7pl606 wrote
Add another notch to Darth Cheney’s belt, I guess.
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Spiff426 t1_j7mk711 wrote
I guess Cheney wanted to wait for some time to pass before he finished the job. I started to write "had to wait", but then remembered he's Dick Cheney so probably he could have just finished him during the press conference when he was apologizing for getting shot in the face. Then his widow could have gone up and apologized to Cheney
Edit: grammar
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makina323 t1_j7mnkm8 wrote
Welp I'm sure he was more happy to have lived all the way past 2006
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WillitsThrockmorton t1_j7n29xb wrote
"Dick Cheney proved you don't need to aim with a shotgun"
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blankyblankblank1 t1_j7nngxd wrote
Cheney is currently on the run.
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DavefromKS t1_j7nokyp wrote
Finally!
Cheney probably
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POLLnarafu t1_j7o4dxs wrote
And this time he finished the job.
johnp299 t1_j7o5gge wrote
So, murder then, finally?
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ablackscot t1_j7on6l9 wrote
It’s manslaughter now, finally.
hldsnfrgr t1_j7op452 wrote
Took him 17 years to die from a gunshot wound?
cookingflower t1_j7op780 wrote
RIP Harry “buckshot” Whittington
Transatlanticaccent t1_j7owcw9 wrote
That diabolical bastard. He played the long game. Got him with that slow release lead poisoning.
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OrcRampant t1_j7p825h wrote
Well that sure took a long time.
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Erazerhead-5407 t1_j7phsqu wrote
You mean to say that Cheney’s face-shot of Whillington finally had its intended affect years later ? It was said that Cheney after being informed of his passing, was overheard saying, well then, I’m taking back my apology. We’re still trying to get independent confirmation of this.
DollyPartWithOn t1_j7pjwn2 wrote
Cheney's bullet finally killed him, only 17 years later!
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Hidden_Sturgeon t1_j7pyiin wrote
Poaching is outta control
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H_E_DoubleHockeyStyx t1_j7r5g64 wrote
He Should have died when he got shot. I cant belive he actually apologized to dick. What a sniveling worm.
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JFireMage87 t1_j7t7bv2 wrote
I wonder if all the republicans calling for Alec Baldwin's head were just as angry with Cheney
tytbalt t1_j7wrt0z wrote
His family wishes to apologize to the former vice president for the inconvenience.
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-The-Moon-Presence- t1_j81y9gh wrote
Cheney is smiling off somewhere.. content that his job is finally done.
whistlingbatter t1_j7mgj8a wrote
delayed murder indictment now pending....
RPi79 t1_j7mqwqn wrote
Christ could they not stop the bleeding?
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myperfectmeltdown t1_j7mtxjf wrote
Died of lead poisoning?
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blondechinesehair t1_j7n07gl wrote
Did they take this photo of him afterwards?
LividKnowledge8821 t1_j7n0mu5 wrote
Imagine this being your legacy. Ya know, rather than everything else you ever did in your life. Worse than getting shot in the face!
Sea_Use3265 t1_j7n1itf wrote
The bird shot finally got him!
Goodolchuckno t1_j7n3tii wrote
I knew that gun shot would be fatal. Hahaha
_Erindera_ t1_j7n5d4f wrote
Did Cheney shoot him again?
Trayew t1_j7nf328 wrote
If the death is related to the shooting in any way he could be prosecuted.
ClubMeSoftly t1_j7nf7aa wrote
I remember misreading the article, and thinking the guy got shot 78-some-odd times, when that was just his age.
windle t1_j7nlopm wrote
Quick! Charge him with murder.
TheBoobieWatcher_ t1_j7o9z32 wrote
When I was in highschool I got a shirt with an artist's depiction of Cheney's face half blown off. I wish I still had it.
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BeowulfsGhost t1_j7me2eg wrote
The best part was the apology he made for getting his face in front of Cheney’s shotgun blast.