Submitted by fanseman t3_yzf24m in mildlyinteresting
Comments
Dutch_Midget t1_iwzvse3 wrote
Dinner inclusive
[deleted] t1_ix2auwz wrote
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mcboobie t1_ix0e4af wrote
If this is a British Airbnb, then it's the '£14 Jubilee Chicken' add-on.
AndringRasew t1_ix12s98 wrote
"Twitter's death was greatly exaggerated."
TheIAP88 t1_ix14fr9 wrote
Sounds as someone who’s never dealt with Airbnb. In reality, if you report it’ll probably end up with you not having to pay for the accommodation.
I had an instance were someone I know reported the apartment they were staying in for having a mouse and it ended with animal services showing up and then not having to pay for the whole week they stayed there.
East-Temporary4759 t1_ix1i02h wrote
Right on!
[deleted] t1_iwziltd wrote
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Det_Crashmore t1_iwzizcj wrote
Probably pining for the fjords
FillRevolutionary900 t1_iwzmdly wrote
Look man it's clearly dead. It has ceased to be, it's kicked the bucket, it has gone to meet its maker. This, is an ex-bird.
Bcbulbchap t1_iwzmlnw wrote
Beautiful plumage though…
DownvoteDaemon t1_iwzqsst wrote
He died how he lived... being beautiful.
soks86 t1_ix0267g wrote
Were any of these jokes or am I just listening to small talk at a bar?
Philias2 t1_ix03zu3 wrote
It's quotes from one of the most well known Monty Python sketches.
East-Temporary4759 t1_ix1i678 wrote
I have learned something today, I need to watch this Monty Python.
soks86 t1_ix0antd wrote
Never heard of it.
Never seen it.
I'm aware of and have watched Monty Python content.
Your description feels lacking.
Edit: It's 22nd on Youtube, pretty far down since I wasn't counting non-sketch videos.
awildhorsepenis t1_ix1sa7w wrote
love yourself
polkaguy6000 t1_iwznvkr wrote
It's not pinin' it's passed on. This parrot is no more. It has ceased to be. It's expired and gone to see its maker. This is a late parrot. It's a stiff bereffed of life. It rests in peace. If you didn't nail it to the perch, it'd be pushing up the daisies. Is rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. This is an ex-parrot.
Abject__Failure t1_iwzpmng wrote
Impossible to read without hearing John Cleese, if you have been so tainted.
Preesi t1_iwzsxo4 wrote
John Cleese on Late Night w/ Letterman was the funniest.
The absurd toast segment!
funnyfarm299 t1_iwzt6v3 wrote
Needs to recharge.
/r/birdsarentreal
jcedryo t1_iwzu1oj wrote
He's resting in peace 💀
[deleted] t1_iwzrlnu wrote
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OneMooseManyMeese_ t1_ix0080p wrote
He's watching the inside of his eyelids. His favorite show.
Smythzilla t1_iwznszz wrote
You will be assessed the $300 dead bird fee, thanks for your stay with AirBNB!
[deleted] t1_ix0f2d8 wrote
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fecoz98 t1_iwziklk wrote
Pidgey fainted!
dr_xenon t1_iwzlf9q wrote
AirBnBnDB
hyperkext t1_ix3xoi2 wrote
AirBnDB4B
thetyler83 t1_iwzs9o4 wrote
You sold my dead bird to a blind kid?
pistol_polly t1_iwzvuif wrote
OUR PETS HEADS ARE FALLING OFF!
Littlegreensled t1_ix0326z wrote
Pretty bird, pretty bird.
Kramerica5A t1_ix2h93a wrote
Yeah, he was pretty old...
besquared2 t1_ix11zjk wrote
Harry, I took care of it!
Footoloose t1_iwzj8z5 wrote
Did you get the keys via a lockbox or number pad, because the owner is probably a cat.
TitaniumTadpole t1_iwzj0ue wrote
It looks like a house wren. Checks out.
(Without a look at it's face I can't be sure)
markjyoungjr t1_iwzqcya wrote
I’m wondering if a bird (probably the one you linked) got into the house and the owners left. The home ended up not getting rented out for quite some time and the poor birdy didn’t make it ):
abarrelofmankeys t1_iwzs6nc wrote
Also pretty likely it ran into a window, which isn’t any more fortunate but less drawn out at least.
markjyoungjr t1_iwzv7e9 wrote
I was thinking that too! It’s pretty common for birds when they get trapped to fly towards the light.
thejarl5 t1_ix2c8or wrote
This is actually a Carolina Wren
TitaniumTadpole t1_ix3pwzj wrote
Nice!
[deleted] t1_ixbn7h9 wrote
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SteakHoagie666 t1_ix2f2kk wrote
Actually, it's dead I think.
[deleted] t1_iwzsehx wrote
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[deleted] t1_ix01tw4 wrote
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the_canna_kate t1_iwzoowx wrote
Good thing they also have a dead bird scoop
Klin24 t1_iwzt28x wrote
THE AIR IS POISON, GET OUT
Simpleba t1_iwzleol wrote
press F
ramonbastos_memelord t1_iwznhza wrote
bad omen
MayorofSodom t1_iwzmo7u wrote
Toby killed it
Dutch_Midget t1_iwzvvbe wrote
Fuck Toby. All my homies hate Toby.
Ok-Mud4136 t1_iwzmswe wrote
Gonna have to charge you for that
Mercurius_Hatter t1_iwznmjw wrote
Complementary snack
Atomsteel t1_iwzxb21 wrote
Per our guest policy please host a funeral for the bird. It must be placed into an appropriate container that you provide. Please be respectful and observe Shiva for our fallen feathered friend. Please strip the bed and wash the linens. Make the bed fully before leaving. The trash must be put in the dumpster at the end of the block each night before 3 am. There will be an 800 dollar cleaning fee imposed for any found dead pets. Thank you for choosing AirBnB. Your card has been charged 1600 for cleaning fees. Enjoy your stay.
mrtn17 t1_iwziue3 wrote
If you kiss it, it will turn into a hipster with a man bun
Deslah t1_iwzjueg wrote
Now that you showed us what's for breakfast, where's the bed part of the deal?
juce44 t1_iwzpxul wrote
It’s a warning. Don’t snitch about the conditions of your ABNB. Good luck now. /s
karavasis t1_iwzqlnl wrote
That 250 cleaning fee doesn’t cover taking out the dead
PXranger t1_iwzshez wrote
“Dead Bird upcharge, $200”
Critical-Signature43 t1_iwzm78w wrote
Sell it to a blind kid.
Dicky_Penisburg t1_iwzuj7i wrote
"I just....thought he was real quiet."
Critical-Signature43 t1_iwzxjzl wrote
lol “pretty bird” best movie ever! Cheers!
Mryan7600 t1_iwzo511 wrote
Better leave it where you find it or you will get charged a surprise 400$ fee at checkout.
DoubleLigero85 t1_iwzob7w wrote
Do not eat
MOTORG0AT t1_iwzrj14 wrote
Sell it to a blind kid.
CarneDelGato t1_iwzul5v wrote
Welcome gift. Host is a cat.
PresentationLimp890 t1_iwzvcsh wrote
Did they add on a fee for it?
Pigeonzlut t1_iwzvoy2 wrote
Its an omen to stop using Air Bnb
agoodguitarsolo t1_iwzxb9n wrote
Looks like a Carolina Wren. Very sad but not uncommon for them to find themselves mistakenly in someone’s house. No one was there to let them out. Encroachment on habitats will do that to a mfer. Sad
BJ22CS t1_ix0tlsl wrote
> Carolina Wren
I 2nd this; that's the bird I thought of when I saw it.
B3asty97 t1_ix045fd wrote
No pets allowed. That’ll be $200
c322617 t1_ix07qpc wrote
Do Not Eat!
fanseman OP t1_ix13d93 wrote
I should mention for those concerned that the bird was not alone at their time of death. There was another bird still flying around that I guided outside before scooping the one who met their untimely end. It was a nice welcome treat from my Superhost
Steve_Austin_OSI t1_ix2e5ib wrote
Gas leak.
hatsuseno t1_ix382a9 wrote
Probably just unknowingly locked up with the departure of the previous guest.
-MotherNight- t1_iwzj17u wrote
Welcome to AirBnB!!
manonymus t1_iwzp3r0 wrote
AirBnB
AirBird n Bury
kiwidude4 t1_iwzplmv wrote
r/mildlydepressing
Party-Ad78 t1_iwzt6zv wrote
It's a hyper-realistic cake. Cut it.
OkSpecial4376 t1_iwzukyx wrote
Look if your airbnb owner is leaving you dead birds it's because they think you don't know how to hunt on your own.
Ecstatic_Soft4407 t1_iwzuxih wrote
It’s a gift. Their version of the chocolate on the pillow.
dinorel t1_iwzx0ps wrote
Did you find the second B?
Reasonable_Cake_7977 t1_iwzxij4 wrote
The landlord is a cat
Bean-Swellington t1_iwzyjez wrote
Oh! Sorry host, I charge a mandatory $1,019 dead animal removal fee and since you didn’t inform me ahead of time that I would be removing a dead animal from my rental there’s an unexpected animal removal surcharge of $318 for a total of $1,337.
[deleted] t1_ix00qlv wrote
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eulynn34 t1_ix00v7o wrote
Looks like you're about to shovel it out the window.
Now you probably have to pay a $250 bird funeral fee
ststaro t1_ix016mj wrote
Fireplace? The screen on top might be missing
edbgon t1_ix026xx wrote
This used to happen to us before we fixed the stovepipe, but our fireplace is not normally open. Suddenly we'd open the doors and an ash covered bird would fly out and slam into the windows.
purpaglurb t1_ix0753p wrote
There was a very much alive bird one time in an Airbnb I rented, I almost peed my pants when I saw it flying around. Response from the property owner: thanks for letting it out.
Sinicalkush t1_ix0pns8 wrote
Damn, poor thing got stuck in their house and couldn't make his way out.
Irejecturselfimage t1_ix1c364 wrote
Probably dont want to tell potential guests about a dead bird in YOUR airbnb. May affect booking.
meshmaster t1_ix1eda9 wrote
Bad omen.... FLEE !!!
Elmondo2 t1_ix1vysg wrote
How much did he pay ?
Shibbystix t1_ix20fst wrote
Still gonna hit you with that cleaning fee
FamiliarWater t1_ix45c1k wrote
Soak it in brandy and cook in the oven
[deleted] t1_iwzkntv wrote
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fishgraphics t1_iwzolpa wrote
He’s dying to stay there with you.
nlilo222 t1_iwzotwj wrote
He's the previous AirBnB guest.
first_life t1_iwzoxnd wrote
Pretty bird
The_Sleep t1_iwzoys1 wrote
You should stay out of the mines then.
therealFiletOFish t1_iwzp25o wrote
Poor dude
suitntiekid18 t1_iwzp5df wrote
free food, still looks pretty fresh, there’s still plenty of meat on that bird. Now you take this home, throw it in a pot, add some broth, a potato. Baby, you’ve got a stew going
lakecityransom t1_iwzpa7n wrote
:(
phuzzy1deep t1_iwzphea wrote
Bad omen
ZachWithAnH024 t1_iwzq02x wrote
That appears to be a fireplace shovel. My guess is it came through the chimney
ticklemyshitcutter t1_iwzqimg wrote
That’s 3 months mediocre luck
[deleted] t1_iwzqosi wrote
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th00ht t1_iwzqq70 wrote
There were live birds where you're staying?
3RRoR24 t1_iwzqxba wrote
Free food
timbo88666 t1_iwzrazx wrote
He killed himself after noticing the cleaning fee
stefansteen t1_iwzrgbo wrote
Dinner
BBkangster t1_iwzrguw wrote
Free dinner
ATaxOnTitans t1_iwzrqae wrote
Free lunch
severed0 t1_iwzs902 wrote
Bird funeral just became one of your future activities. Make it good, only the nicest shoe box will do.
[deleted] t1_iwzsgr0 wrote
Murder!!!
n3w4cc01_1nt t1_iwzsmjq wrote
that means the ghost cat that haunts the house thinks you're weak and can't get your own food.
Pirategod_23 t1_iwzt5hz wrote
I’ve seen how this movie ends
heardbutnotseen2 t1_iwztgvm wrote
The cat left a gift.
dyskinet1c t1_iwztk6p wrote
Free bird!
xxBeatrixKiddoxx t1_iwzu1zy wrote
As long as it isn’t a bat
iregretthisalreadyy t1_iwzu9tl wrote
This is interesting?
vwtoolvw t1_iwzuwy6 wrote
And….
ImaginaryMairi t1_iwzw9wj wrote
Poor thing :(
LetMePushTheButton t1_iwzwmub wrote
This is the start to a horror film from A24
sourpussmcgee t1_iwzy024 wrote
Bad omen
coontietycoon t1_iwzziqk wrote
Put it in an epoxy cube as a keepsake
durenatu t1_iwzzzgo wrote
There was free food on your airbnb
saggytestis t1_ix01bda wrote
That's why they keep the shovel there, didn't you realize the fireplace is nonfunctional?
maxjatka t1_ix02lsc wrote
🥺
blackbeltmessiah t1_ix0396g wrote
Should make a tiny tombstone visible from the window.
Panda-Cubby t1_ix03bk9 wrote
That's the "B" part of BnB.
Glass_Cat_666 t1_ix03h2w wrote
Free snacks
AXLPendergast t1_ix03j1q wrote
It couldn’t afford the cleaning fee and was ‘taken out’
crhickey257 t1_ix04e70 wrote
Usually have to pay extra for that.
chumchees t1_ix04plw wrote
Did you at least attempt mouth to beak.
Markqz t1_ix054mz wrote
Bird and Bath?
TheKingOfSwing777 t1_ix055rf wrote
Canary in the coal mine?
CaptainPartyMix t1_ix05cn2 wrote
Was there a fireplace in the air BNB?
[deleted] t1_ix07p8x wrote
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RealCoolDad t1_ix08rvv wrote
Is it a canary?
AerodynamicShip t1_ix0a1vv wrote
What did you expect? Your host is a cat.
ArmouredPotato t1_ix0a7bi wrote
Did you even try cpr?
dogmeat12358 t1_ix0ai3w wrote
That is a very, very bad omen.
Biz_Consultant305 t1_ix0buit wrote
Bio Halloween decoration = $250 extra
IslandBoyardee t1_ix0cz9q wrote
That’s gonna cost you..
Wildvikeman t1_ix0dh7j wrote
Reported for killing an endangered species.
lonestiz t1_ix0dtyh wrote
Air Bird N Breakfast
Helpful_Exchange_530 t1_ix0fu37 wrote
good thing they charged the last people a $200 cleaning fee !
Nobody88Special720 t1_ix0fuv3 wrote
It's a bird and breakfast
fliberdygibits t1_ix0fwwj wrote
Curious, most places just put a mint on the pillow.
Haiwik t1_ix0iskk wrote
Nice
MyyWifeRocks t1_ix0jo8d wrote
That’s a free range chicken.
Knerrbo t1_ix0kj2x wrote
Bird Flu
construction_pro t1_ix0lrgd wrote
Human_Alternative_ t1_ix0m1s2 wrote
A deaf bird? What did you say?
Adept_Cranberry_4550 t1_ix0mxhy wrote
Is there... is there also an empty cage?
Because that'd be a pretty good prank!
ellefleming t1_ix0ohlm wrote
Why would anyone ever stay at an air BNB? Hotels all the way.
Boaz183 t1_ix0pjan wrote
Pretty bird, pretty bird.
BaronTatersworth t1_ix0ql89 wrote
They didn’t feed their AirBnBird
Pat_9921 t1_ix0twkx wrote
That's a message for you. Get to deciphering!!
_stayhuman t1_ix0v8pp wrote
That bird needs some air.
basko13 t1_ix0vkqb wrote
Well, without a meal it would be only AirB
Evilmaze t1_ix0vm8b wrote
Canary in a coal mine
kindasortasalty t1_ix0zpdh wrote
RIP little Carolina wren
viomeb t1_ix105vz wrote
R.I.P.
Intruder6 t1_ix12kf1 wrote
There is also a dead bird on your shovel
michaelacramer t1_ix1491s wrote
Air bye-and-bye
SolyCalma t1_ix14tl9 wrote
It's the owner's cat leaving you a welcome present.
Cmdr_Toucon t1_ix16bzc wrote
Canary in the coal mine. Sleep well
tbyd t1_ix16dph wrote
You could say he overstayed his welcome.
Groinificator t1_ix19d9u wrote
Score!
Knife-yWife-y t1_ix1af8y wrote
Went on a tour of Airbnb for a possible wedding venue for my out-of-state SIL. I found a dead cockroach in the basement and a dead rat in the in-ground spa. Needless to say, I persuaded SIL to go with another location. 🤷♀️
Key-Wishbone4987 t1_ix1jg29 wrote
I think the bird made reservations but forgot he just checked out earlier poor little bird bless his little heart
LordInviSpy t1_ix1knqv wrote
lol
Sam_GT3 t1_ix1mpkd wrote
Am I the only one who thought the gravel was broken glass, and that this little bird somehow smashed through the window and died?
LucidZane t1_ix1pqr8 wrote
I've heard of dead birds in the fireplace before, where was he at?
Ibtee786 t1_ix1qbn3 wrote
Hope you had funeral for the bird.
Degora2k t1_ix1udh8 wrote
Poor lil birb
Sti8man7 t1_ix1wj1c wrote
Canary in the coal mine
Infinite-Golf-9760 t1_ix1ync8 wrote
So sad :( was it there left for you as a “welcome gift” ?
From now on I’ll call it AirBnBirb
UNOtrickyTrish t1_ix214h3 wrote
Well dang…. Pretty bird though. RIP feathered friend. Nature happens….. carry on
TopAlert2383 t1_ix21olx wrote
There's a military cadence about this damn yellow bird.
[deleted] t1_ix23adm wrote
That’s the homeowner
acintheheat t1_ix25x62 wrote
Seems like the start of a horror film. Get out now!!!
duffeldorf t1_ix26uaq wrote
The cat left you a welcoming present
Lazy_Wish9694 t1_ix2d94k wrote
Aww poor birb :(
[deleted] t1_ix2fjh8 wrote
Where is this restaurant ?
KyorlSadei t1_ix2h0ad wrote
It was alive before you got there… what did you do?
jkelley41 t1_ix2i494 wrote
AirBnB stay for 2 nights: $127
.....
Cleaning Fee: $350
Service Fee: $109
Bird Fee: $75
TOTAL: 18 times the cost of the stay
Fuck AirBnBs.
Max0_o123 t1_ix2ij6n wrote
But... That's the provided food!
TemerityUnmitigated t1_ix2wuyh wrote
Sounds like the start of a thriller.
Mixedbagostuff t1_ix2ys90 wrote
The curse has begun
XicaaxiC t1_ix30uz1 wrote
Omg I initially thought it was intentionally displayed like this on a stands and I was like what kind of a psychopath….
[deleted] t1_ix34rwj wrote
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Colonelangus47 t1_ix3akt0 wrote
Has working the mine taught you nothing?! GET OUT OF THERE! 😳
picatostas t1_ix3mqxu wrote
Bird and Breakfast?
idiBanashapan t1_ix3mzu7 wrote
At least it died on a handy dead-bird-removing shovel.
qedjoel t1_ix3vygb wrote
Sometimes the hosts leave snacks
theveryrealreal t1_ixaoiaz wrote
I would open some windows
SaulGucciman t1_iwzogxo wrote
Elon Musk must be the host.
Dutch_Midget t1_iwzvyxo wrote
OP gon get suspended soon
[deleted] t1_iwzwruo wrote
[deleted]
SpaceDoctorWOBorders t1_iwzz0fx wrote
Are you sure it's a bird? /s
HTorv t1_ix0ng2v wrote
Move!! Bad omen.
[deleted] t1_ix12bjt wrote
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dylovell t1_ix242on wrote
Leave them a bill for pest control.
styoupid t1_iwzjex4 wrote
What did it do to you?
Dysomma t1_iwziyke wrote
Careful. Airbnb probably adds an extra fee for this.