"Report," the violet-tinted cloud commanded through a series of flashes of varying intensity.

"They call themselves 'humans', sir," the crystalline creature in front of them replied with a voice that was rough and coarse, yet oddly soothing. "I believe you'll find some of their attributes... peculiar."

"Is that so? Do go on."

"Some basics - physical prowess is an alephar grade. Deceptively resilient, short lifespan, limited offensive capabilities. A flexible species with a shocking amount of variety, but nothing we haven't seen before. The planet itself is not entirely remarkable. Mostly water, high biodiversity, some specimens could be used for research."

"Go on," the cloud flickered.

"On a civilization scale, they're brahmen. Spacefaring and largely peaceful with only occasional squabbles over minor disputes. Their history shows their war-like nature used to be far worse. And, well... this is the interesting part. Their intellect. It's oolke," the crystal growled.

"And that is interesting... how?" the cloud blinked incredulously. "They're a versatile, resilient species with a reasonably capable society that are a bit... on the dim side. Why are you telling me that?"

"Their intellect is oolke, but their combined mathematical knowledge is... I- I'm not sure how to describe it. Here, see for yourself."

The crystal pushed forward a slightly moist globule of dark-blue mass that the cloud turned towards. The mass hummed quietly.

"Fission, space-faring for the last 266 cycles, gravity slingshots... grav- gravity drive?" the cloud gasped. "They've... they've constructed a gravity drive?!"

"Before you ask, sir, I've quadruple-checked. They are, in fact, oolke class."

"How does an oolke tier species create a gravity drive? We've been trying to make one for the last 745 cycles!"

"Sir... they're incredibly irresponsible."

The cloud stared at the crystal silently.

"The- the experiments they've conducted over the past several hundred years, sir, they've done them with reckless abandon. Before they created the gravity drive, they created several miniature black holes that went out of control. They, uh... used to have a moon."

"Used to?"

"A black hole swallowed it."

The two creatures pondered the situation in silence.

"Sir, what do we do now?" the crystal asked.

"I'll be honest," the cloud replied slowly. "I'm not sure if we should give them funds for research... or stop them immediately."

The human stared at the navigation database. Thiun recognized the look as one of puzzlement. It was distressingly common in humans, considering they made it to a different star system.

"Don't you have a numerical catalog with spacial coordinates? I can translate your zero point to ours easily enough, but this list of names isn't helping." She brushed back her hair from her eyes.

Thiun started to weave his two primary manipulator tentacles together in an expression of humor, then stopped himself. One of the few things humans were at an average level on was learning what they called "body language", and he did not wish to seem insulting.

"That is our numerical database. They are listed in order of proximity, but perhaps this might assist in comprehension." He reached out to the secondary console and filtered by order of discovery, with the coordinates listed after.

Hedy looked again. This time her expression was new to it. Thiun checked his external link, and found a single raised eyebrow meant the discovery of something odd. It allowed it's secondary manipulator tentacle to express a questioning demeanor.

"Ok, let me just confirm something. I know you're a scientist, so you're good at math?" Thiun nodded, that being a surprisingly common species indicator of agreement. "Would you mind multiplying 643 by 896? Manually, I mean."

It's own manipulators "raising their eyebrows", Thiun pulled out his tablet and started writing. A few minutes later, it exclaimed "576123."

"You're off by five." Hedy cocked her head. "Try me."

"Very well. 355 times 763."

"270865." Came back seconds later. She had done it without a writing surface. In her head. It typed in the numbers into his calculator. It took him longer to confirm the answer than it had for her to give it.

All 15 eyes swiveled to focus on the human. "How? No offense, but your capabilities are quite limited compared to ours, but I've only seen that kind of mental mathematics done as a parlor trick, by someone with perfect recall."

She shook her head. "I can't believe you made it out of the sail age like this..." She muttered distractedly. "correct me if I'm wrong, but this is the number 74, correct?" Thiun's glance showed that number hadn't shown up on screen. She wrote out a quick series of symbols, with the furthest along being a "?". "I don't know what that symbol looks like, but I know there is one."

Three eyes looked at the tablet, quickly followed by 8 others. The remaining stared at the human scientist as a threat response - his biology literally would not let him look away.

"I don't understand... You said this was the first time you've seen our databases, but you figured it out that quickly?"

She stared back. "I finally have something to trade, it seems. A positional numerical system." Again she brushed her hair out of her eyes. "How did you manage spaceflight with base 8 ROMAN NUMERALS?"

Date XXXX of the Interstellar Calendar

This new species is absolutely fascinating! They are a still young species, barely out of the 'infant' stage of their evolution I would guess, but never before have I seen such an inquisitive species throughout the Universe. They are immature and undeveloped technologically, but their curiosity drives them and perhaps their relative youth explains their seeming lack of fear. They developed vessels for space travel far earlier in their evolution than any other species so far, a feat likely to never again be repeated. Curious as to how they pulled this off, a select few of us were sent to their planet to learn what we could and see how best we could help this fledgling species develop. What we found was a complete divergence from how all other life in the Universe developed. They are uncouth, violent, immature, and their technology is as basic as it could possibly get, but they have somehow developed their mathematical knowledge so rapidly that for centuries before they developed space travel they were already able to predict the motions of the celestial bodies they could observe with a margin of error so negligible as to be non-existent. They can predict the future, simply through mathematical equations. Their mathematically driven feats of engineering have allowed them to ascend to the heavens within a fraction of the time it took any other species, even those that had help from already spacefaring species - and they figured this all out on their own. It is truly astounding, and far beyond anything that any other sentient race has reached. What this strange, young species has managed to develop through mathematics will completely overhaul everything we thought we knew about the Universe. It is fortunate that their technology is still so primitive, as if they had the tech to support their mathematics then they could rapidly expand and take over the Universe with minimal resistance.

"What do you mean they have threat level one potential but zero advanced sorcery. Is this some sort of advanced magic weilding technique we do not know about?" Yelled the director of the Intergalactic Relations Bureau.

"No, sir. It's just that they-" the linguistic and cultural research head was interupted once more bybthe director. "This is a new species we have come across in the barren and uninhabitable parts of the universe. There is no way they have prepared for war with anyone. They would have grown thinking they are alone with no one to fight but themselves. We know how that goes."

"Yes sir, we only find their ruins. But these "Humans" have grown differently. They... well, they're perhaps less intelligent than a child like to ever discover any type of sorcery, but they have lived in the most uninhabitable area knowing they're alone." The subordinate grabbed a large stack of papers he'd accumulated on human research. "Their bodies have the ability to heal themselves from nearly any type of damage. Even when amputated, their bodies will simply heal where the limb was lost."

The director paid concerned attention. A war with humans could not be won by targetting the healers first if they could heal any damage administered. "Is this what makes them so seemingly threatening? Because it would be a fight against an enemy that does not die?"

"No, no. They do die, and rather quickly. Their livespans are no more than a quarter of the standard lifespan, but they can all have multiple offspring and they have something equal or more powerful to magic and sorcery. This, I am struggling to understand how it works." Said the linguistics and Cultural professional with carefulness in his words. "They have advanced mathematics too far."

"Mathematics? Is this some sort of joke? Is today international humour day?"

"No sir. They can control metal with no biological components nor posessions. They have colonized the nearest moon and planet to their home planet and have a planetary defense system with no form of sorcery."

"How can mathematics show this. How could adding one to one, taking one away or splitting items be used to leave their planets? You simply hire a sorcerer pilot and comamdeer a biometal ship to move where you please."

"Of course sir, but they becan calculating how far they could throw a deadly item during war. Sharp objects usually, but since they fought such formidable opponents, themselves. They escalated their weaponry. They mined their planets compressed fires and eventually made rocks think in mathematics with lightning power."

"So why have you brought me here?"

"To explain that they are the new super power but have long chosen a path of peace."

"This cannot be. Our most fierce mages can kill one hundred enemies in one day. A short lifespan would make the Humans tire quickly. Would it not?" Asked the director with more worry as his expert did not seem to be joking.

"Yes, the best can kil up to two hundred in a day, but behold. They are trying to make a route to their mearest galaxy, but those planets are in their way for a perfect launch."

"Well yes. No one can throw a weapon around a planet without sorcery."

The director and the linguistics and culture professional watched in silence as a small one person ship approached them completely unaware of their cloaked presence.

"What is this human doing out here? Did he get thrown wrong and off course."

"No sir, he is clearing a path for the neighbor galaxy."

They watched in disbelief as the single person ship fired one small rocket at each of the three planets in question.

"This could not poss-" the director's mouth fell agape as he witnessed his first three planet sized nuclear explosions. "No! The planets. How can... we cannot possibly compete with these." He looked at his advisor, then at the sorcerer in control of the ship. "Make it imperative that we remain cloaked. The human could eradicate us if he saw us as threatening." "Aye"

"You are sure they are not a voilent race?"

"Not in generations. Sir." Replied the culture and linguistics advisor.

The small human ship then fired three more small projectiles that turned into black spheres at each of the planets. The Intergalactic Relations Bureau saw for the first time in their lives three black holes grow from nothing, swallow the debree from the planets and collapse onto themselves, leaving nothing but perfect spheres of all the planet's resources sorted and lined up in a row.

"That's one human's power? How many of them are there?" Asked the director in a panic, knowing that these powers derived from mathematics could most likely not be stopped with any sort of magic.

"Twenty five billion."

"Remove our cloaking."

"But sir w-"

"We cannot afford a negative introduction. The council would want to send a battalion along as a precaution. The humans could see it as an act of violence and shortly after: they could become the only life forms in the universe. No matter how much smarter we may be. They hold the power of the universe. We were unlucky to develop in comfort and never needed to explore the power beyond magic. Let's hope they are welcoming of strangers."

Apologies for any misspellings. On mobile that refuses to auto correct or auto suggest the right spelling. Probably paragraphis are wrong too.

BEGINNING ENTRY FOR IGC SPECIES 5023. TRANSLATION FOR: HUMAN-ENGLISH

IDENTIFICATION: Human

RISK FACTOR: PALTIC

VOTE OF INCLUSION:

S10-1: AYE

S10-2: NAY

S10-3: AYE

S10-4: AYE

S10-5: AYE

TOTAL VOTE: 4-1 RESULT: FIRST CONTACT AND INCLUSION APPROVED

PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION: Humans are two legged, ground based creatures with two arms that walk upright. Not capable of flight without augmentation or external machines. Liquid traversal limited as well. Most possess capability to traverse H2O bodies for short periods and can float. Underwater capability limited to approximately 6e10 standard pulses. Capability varies based on individual. Sight limited to approximately 380-740 standard waves. Capable of standard hearing and touch. Evidence of taste and smell found. Unknown capability. [INFORMATION EXCLUDED. ACCESS RESTRICTED TO S8 AND HIGHER]

REASON FOR INCLUSION: IGC-5023 has been monitored for ██00 of their solar cycles. Recent activity in the past 400 cycles has shown near impossible progression of mathematics and science. As of ███████ galactic time, 3█ solar cycles ago, IGC-5023 has acheived ███ capability and is now traveling outside of their solar system. As this technology is of interest to the psionic council as well as [INFORMATION EXCLUDED]

ADDENDUM 5023-1

THREAT CLASS UPGRADED TO ARMINION. THEY DO NOT COME IN PEACE. ANY CONTACT MUST BE REPORTED TO S9 COMMAND AND WILL REQUIRE IMMEDIATE DEPLOYMENT OF █████████ CLASS VESSELS

Brought infront of various alien species, of shapes and sizes I would’ve thought impossible, the one who brought me there- green in colour, and almost resembling of old paleo art, nudged me with it’s nose, toward beings that towered over me.

“An average specimen for your viewing. Juvenile, and with a few mental defects. Watch what it can do!”

Okay, that was offensive, and I would’ve much preferred not to have been given a translator, because that just felt mean. I was handed a pen and paper, with foreign eyes looking at me intently. It was a few high-school level equations. Algebra, too, which was my favourite kind of math, since it made sense to my visual learning kind of brain.

Thinking hard for a moment, and then repeating the processes I had been taught, I wrote down the answers to the questions, in very scratchy handwriting. Finishing relatively quickly once I got into a rhythm, I presented my basic algebra to these creatures that were advanced beyond my comprehension. I must’ve looked a bit nervous, because that green, dinosaur-like alien, gently nudged me with its nose again, as if to try to give me some support.

The galactic community infront of me looked positively stunned. And sure, I wasn’t the brightest at maths, but this was just basic algebra that would be taught to 15 year olds. Was it really so complex for them? Or perhaps it was because the average human intelligence wouldn’t compensate for such knowledge? Whatever it was, they seemed impressed.

“What a marvellous creature. And they’re all like this?” An amorphous blob questioned, hollow voice echoing through the spaceship halls. I was lifted up by a few littler blobs, who I assumed were helpers of the big one, but I wasn’t really sure. Well, it wasn’t relevant. I was pretty pleased, because I was getting attention I never would’ve gotten back on Earth.

Cooing and touching my hair, I felt wanted, whereas back home, I was merely berated for my poor test scores and my odd way of thinking.

“The rest of them are kind of mean.” I commented, and they all stared at me adoringly, not stunned by my use of language, aided by the translator, but seemingly by my voice. They spoke to me like normal humans, as if in normal conversation, but I could tell this, to them, was baby-speak, because they talked amongst themselves as if I wasn’t there, too, and their languages were too complex for the measly translator I had been loaned. Well, that was okay. This was nice, and I could get used to this kind of treatment.

(It’s not very good. Sorry about that. I just think that advanced aliens being so enamoured by humanity would be funny.)

Dale wasn't sure anymore how long they'd been holding him there, either hours or days. It felt like an interrogation but the questions made no sense. They were just grilling him about math problems, He knew there had to be a higher level to the line of questioning but he couldn't get past the silliness of their inquiries.

A new interrogator had just entered the room and seated himself across from Dale. He did not look happy with Dale. He looked like he wanted to kill him.

"How do we know you're not making it up," the angry man demanded. His jacket was weighed down with medals that just looked like small plastic buttons. They clicked and clacked together as he shook with anger. "What assurances can you give us that what you say is true? Do you expect us to follow you on faith alone?"

"I could show my work," Dale replied. "If I had something to count with. Like the buttons on your shirt. Do you mind?"

"These tokens represent the Dorgian squads I defeated on Dorga 7," the man was shouting and began to rise out of his seat. "And to take them off so you can play some silly math game-"

The angry man's bracelets gave a short electrical buzz that seemed to grab his attention. He looked over at the mirror wall and seated himself again.

"I just said something like the buttons. Something I can use to demonstrate."

The angry man looked over at the mirror again and raised his eyebrows.

On the other side of the glass, a group of researchers and engineers all turned their attention to a sharply dressed woman. She had only one button pinned to her jacket but it was a big one.

"Bring him a box of tokens from my office," she said to no one person in particular.

"At once, ma'am," two people in lab coats stammered simultaneously.

"Be quick about it," she added. "Commander Glabnok is growing impatient. He behaves erratically when he's like this."

She reached forward and gave a single knock on the glass with her knuckle.

Back in the interrogation room, Commander Glabnok smiled and nodded at the mirror. He leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms.

"While we wait, let's ask some more questions. Sally has five apples. She gives two of them to Tony. How many apples does she have?"

"Three."

"How can you be so sure? Also, she could be lying. But you're answering too quickly. You must have already been asked that one."

"It's possible," Dale shrugged. "They kinda all sound the same."

"Then let's try one you don't already know the answer to," Commander Glabnok sat upright in his chair and folded his hands together on the table. "Sally has two apples. She gives Tina three apples. How ma-"

"She can't."

"What did you just say?"

"Sally can't give her three apples."

"She has to! Sally gives Tina three apples! How many-"

"She can't. She doesn't have th-"

"Tina demands it!" Commander Glabnok's chair fell back as he shot up from the table. "If Sally doesn't give Tina three apples I will-"

The door to the room opened and a small man wearing a lab coat came in carrying a box. It clicked and clacked like the Commander's jacket as the man in the lab coat set it down in front of Dale. The Commander's eyes widened at the sight of the box. Thousands of tokens piled haphazardly in a cardboard box made the number on his shirt seem tiny.

"For showing your work," the man in the lab coat gestured to Dale before scurrying from the room.

"Let's start with the first problem you gave me," Dale reached into the box of plastic buttons and pulled five of them. He placed them on the table individually. Click, click, click, click, click. He looked up at the Commander who seemed to be running his own calculation in his head, possibly about how much fighting would have to take place to earn these plastic tokens. "Shall we proceed?"

"Yes, go on," the Commander righted his chair and sat down across from Dale.

"Sally has five apples."

Dale waits for Glabnok to acknowledge.

"Yes, that's been established."

"She gives Tony two apples." He slides two buttons forward.

"Mm-hmm."

"So, she has three left," Dale taps each on the plastic buttons with his index finger. "One, two, three."

"No the other problem," Glabnok demands. "The you couldn't seem to get right."

"Well, it wasn't that I couldn't get it right. It's just that it's not p-"

"Show your work, Dale of Earth," Glabnok insists. "Isn't that what the sniveling little lab rat told you to do. Show your work."

"Alright," Dale slides three of the buttons behind the cardboard box and places the other two between them on the table. Click, click. "Sally has two buttons."

"Tokens."

"Well, actually they were supposed to be apples. So, Sally has two apples."

"Right, apples."

"And Tina wants three apples."

"Tina demands three!"

"But Sally doesn't have that many-"

"She's lying!"

"No she only has two. So, she can't give-"

"Sally is lying about the tokens! Just give Tina the damn tokens! She's earned them," Commander Glabnok shoves his hands into the cardboard box and pulls out two fistfuls of plastic tokens. "There's so much. And she's been hoarding it. Keeping it from the others. From everyone. What else has she lied about? What other secrets has she- ahhh-"

The bracelets on Commander Glabnok's wrists lit up and began to hum loudly. His palms opened upward as he froze in pain. Hundreds of plastic buttons scattered across the floor.

The door opened and a sharply dressed woman quickly closed the gap between the door and the frozen Commander. In one swift motion she produced a small stick from her pocket and pointed it at the Commander's chest. A beam of light shot into his chest and he collapsed on the floor with his eyes frozen open staring at the ceiling.

"Get in here and clean this mess up," she shouted. Two people in lab coats scurried into the room. "Tokens back in the box. Put him down the chute."

The two lab coats began dragging the stiff Commander over to a door along the far wall that looked just the right size and height for loading bodies into.

"And the tokens from his jacket," the sharply-dressed woman added. The two lab coats turned and looked at one another in disbelief. They didn't remove his plastic buttons right away. "You may each take one token."

They nodded, removed a button each from the Commander's chest and pinned it two their own. The sharply dressed woman introduced herself while the lab coats continued cleaning up.

"Hello, Dale of Earth," the sharply-dressed woman smiled. "I am the Director. I want to thank you, Dale. I think you'll be able to solve our little problem. Walk with me and I'll explain."

The Director led Dale through a series of corridors with doors, many of which had a screen next to them that read: Authorization Required. She explained that their ship had been hit with a solar upon entering the current solar system which caused a lot of the ships systems to reboot.

"And the old leaders of the ship, the Brainiacs I mentioned earlier, they made everything all secure and password protected," The Director explained. "But the wanted to make sure that it was a password the rest of us couldn't figure out. So, they used their special math language as a way to authorize certain systems."

They had arrived at a large door at the end of a hallway and she gestured to the panel next to it.

"I need your help accessing this room."

The screen was filled with complex math problems that Dale couldn't figure out. Calculus, maybe, but he wasn't sure.

"This is too difficult for me," Dale shrugged. "Sorry but I don't even understand it."

"Eh-hmm," the Director cleared her throat. "Did you catch that? Exam assistance requested."

A disembodied voice filled the hallway: EXAM ASSISTANCE ACTIVATED

The panel flickered and showed a picture of five apples.

SALLY HAS FIVE APPLES. SHE GIVE TWO APPLES TO TONY. HOW MANY APPLES DOES SHE HAVE?

"Three."

PLEASE SHOW YOUR WORK

Dale held up his hand with five fingers extended. He thing curled his thumb and pinky into his palm.

CORRECT. AUTHORIZATION CONFIRMED.

The door hissed as the large metal panels began to slide into the wall. Dale counted fourteen people rushing to the door as they entered.

"Oh, thank you," one cried out. "We're so hungry we thought we would die in here."

"The cafeteria is active for another hour," the Director said flatly. "Go eat."

"How'd you get the door open?" another person asked. "Must have taken some sort of Brainiac." He had his hand on a small stick identical to the one the Director used to kill Glabnok.

"This is Dale of Earth. He's helping us."

"Must be some sort of Brainiac-"

"Go eat."

They left Dale and the Director alone in what looked like a command center. Out the large window ahead of them was the pale blue dot Dale grew up on. And in the center of the room was what appeared to be a giant rifle pointed at the blue dot.

"I need you to unlock this," the Director gestured to the big gun.

Dale wandered forward staring at the blue dot.

"It's beautiful. I mean, pictures don't grasp the scale-"

"Dale, focus."

"You're going to destroy it."

"Have you ever seen a photon torpedo hit a rock that size? The spectacle is far greater and what some colored rock may look like."

"The human race is on that rock-"

"They're Brainiacs, Dale. They're bad and dangerous people. They have to go. Authorize the photon torpedo."

Dale scanned the room hoping to find another control panel as he approached the big gun. There, on a desk behind him was what he needed.

"Two minus one equals one," Dale shouted.

PLEASE SHOW YOUR WORK

"That's not what it's asking," the Director said. "Is it? It looks like four or five apples to me. One, two, three, four. Yeah, four. What are you doing?"

Dale held up two fingers in front of the Directors face.

"Two minus one."

He curled in his index finger.

"Fuck you."

CORRECT. SELF-DESTRUCT INITIATED

"Damn, Brainiac! Should have just killed you from the start."

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